Toxic Masculinity – What it is and How to Deal with It

Toxic masculinity is a term that has increased in popularity over the past decade. As a result, the term “ has become a catchall explanation for male violence, sexism, domestic abuse and misogyny.” (edgar) It’s important to note that in the past, the term has been used in the context of the gender binary, as it was thought to be something only cis-gendered males can illustrate. However, this is not a phenomenon that only impacts cis-gender males- anyone can exhibit a toxic manifestation of masculinity. In this sense, It’s essential to also make space for toxic masculinity in those who identify as female or non-binary because anyone can claim masculinity as a part of their identity. However, that topic constitutes another blog post! For the purpose of this article, I will be exploring the manifestation of toxic masculinity in those who identify as male, not just cis men. The term toxic masculinity originated in the “Mythopoetic men’s movement” to distinguish what they regarded as genuine or mature masculinity from the problematic toxic masculinity of immature males.” (edgar) Psychiatrist Terry Kupers defined toxic masculinity as the following:

“The constellation of socially regressive male traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, and wanton violence and that “toxic masculinity involves the need to aggressively compete and dominate others and encompasses the most problematic proclivities in men.” (edgar)

These are some of the common behavioral patterns that often characterize this phenomenon:

• Show no emotions apart from anger
• Do not show weakness
• Always win
• Being promiscuous, but noticed in the opposite sex causes feelings of contempt
• Self-reliant, always rough, suffering without showing pain, independent
• React negatively to the concept of feminism
• Not engaging in household chores that could be considered feminine such as cleaning, ironing, caregiving, involved in parenting.
• Risk-taking as part of showing masculine strength – careless driving, drug abuse, etc
• Aggression
• Need to dominate or control others
  (edgar)

When it comes to dealing with and understanding toxic masculinity, it’s essential to remember that the word “toxic” is being used as an adjective to describe noxious or injurious forms or manifestations of masculinity.” (menscenter.org) The adjective toxic refers to a specific expression of masculinity and does not encompass the entirety of masculinity; there is no such thing as positive masculinity! To progress to a world in which masculinity is seen as something positive, we must first learn how to combat toxic masculinity.

Overcoming Toxic Masculinity

Now that we understand the origins, we can understand how it impacts those who identify as male. The American Psychological Association put forth guidelines in 2019 stating “…that raising boys into “traditional” masculinity is harmful to their health and wellness.” (menscenter.org) In this sense, one way to deal with this is to re-direct the cultural conversation around what it is to be masculine. We can begin to do this by putting forth a proper definition of toxic masculinity and begin educating society on the appropriate meaning of the term. Some examples of the interpretation of toxic masculinity:

• “I hear you describe masculinity as ‘bad’ and ‘toxic’, and I can only conclude you are anti-male and that you see all men as bad and toxic.”
• “ I hear you wanting to eliminate masculinity, and I say that will make boys weak, lazy, and fearful.”
  (menscenter.org)

To dispel these misinterpretations, society needs to increase the discourse around the harmful ideologies we raise male-identifying individuals. For example, we should discuss how male-identifying individuals are raised to “ adhere to a rigidly polarized definition of masculinity—formulated partially on opposing anything resembling femininity…[and how this] is dangerous to men’s mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health and to the health and wellbeing of others.” (menscenter.org) Suppose there is a more prevalent cultural conversation surrounding masculine stereotypes that male-identifying individuals are expected to adhere to. In that case, we may be able to rewrite the narrative surrounding masculinity. This concept was not created in promotion of “men’s emasculation; rather, it’s about developing men’s full potential as human beings.” (menscenter.org) In this sense, men should not have limiting stereotypes forced upon them. Masculinity and femininity are two energies that should exist outside of the gender binary; they should not be contingent on gendered stereotypes. The hope is that if enough individuals can become educated on the possibilities of positive masculinity outside of these harmful traditions, then we can re-write the narrative of what it is to be masculine sans the toxicity!

By: Alyssa Morterud