Exploring Cuckold Sex Therapy and “Hotwifing”
Exploring Cuckold Sex Therapy and “Hotwifing”
Individuals and couples enter sex therapy programs for a wide variety of issues. For some individuals, they may want to receive education about a particular sexual topic, or identify ways to become more comfortable with their sexuality. Some couples may enter sex therapy to talk about relationship issues, or set boundaries for a new sexual adventure.
There are a growing number of couples engaging in cuckolding and hotwifing. The therapists at Respark are here to provide specialized, judgment free education and therapy related to both cuckolding and hotwifing. Here we explore a little bit more about these topics, how to define them, and how sex therapy relates to cuckolding and hotwifing.
Many of our clients at Respark are kinky and just need a therapist that won’t judge or maybe a therapist that just “gets it.” Respark Therapists are more than “kink friendly,” they have some of the most advanced, up to date training specifically in kink relationships. Finding a therapist who understands your specific needs and has been educated on topics that are important to you are key in finding the best therapist fit.
The definition of cuckold in 2023
Before we dig into cuckold sex therapy, let’s define cuckold. You may be wondering, “What is a cuckold?” or “What is cuckolding?” Let’s talk about how to define cuckolding today in 2023.
According to a cuckolding article by Sexual Health Alliance, “In its most basic form, a cuckolding (or “cucking”) relationship is one in which one partner is expected to remain monogamous while the other gets to play with other people, sometimes while the “faithful” partner watches.
Typically, although not always, these are heterosexual couples where the man is the cuck who is cuckolded by his female partner, the “cuckoldress,” and a man outside of their relationship called a “bull”.”
Sexuality is fluid and vast: There are millions of ways couples and individuals engage in cuckold and hotwife fetishes. No two couples are alike and therefore they don’t need to be attempting to fit an arbitrary definition if it doesn’t work for them.
When an individual or couple enters cuckold sex therapy, they have an opportunity to discuss how this definition best applies to them or if they fit this definition at all. Cuckold sex therapy provides an opportunity to discuss boundaries and what each member is comfortable with while participating in cuckolding.
Our Respark sex therapists are not new to cuckolding and are here for shame-free, confidential sex therapy and education. They have received over 200 hours of sexuality training. Many of them have specializations in kink and alternative sexualities.
Defining “hotwifing” in sex therapy
On the surface, it may appear that cuckolding and hotwifing are the same, but in reality, they are two different sexual activities. In a Respark blog about cuckolding and hotwifing, the term “hotwife” was described as follows:
“A hotwife is someone that is so attractive and “hot,” the partner takes pleasure in sharing her with others so that other men can enjoy her fully and experience the beauty he is honored to call his wife.
There is a sense of pride and pleasure in being a hotwife and having a hotwife. There’s rarely a humiliation piece in current hotwife households. Additionally, a power dynamic is present in the cuckold lifestyle that is usually absent in the hotwife lifestyle.
Hotwifing focuses on increasing/enhancing pleasure and sexual experiences for the female partner and cuckolding is about achieving pleasure through humiliation for the male partner.”
In cuckold sex therapy, an individual or couple may want to discuss their desires and if they are more turned on by cuckolding or hotwifing. Cuckold sex therapy gives both people an opportunity to clearly state their desires and fears, and any questions that might come up about the logistics of the hotwifing or cuckolding arrangement.
A recent hotwifing article from Men’s Health discusses the pleasure and power dynamic in hotwifing. This power dynamic is another topic that partners can discuss during cuckold sex therapy. In reference to the power dynamic, the article reads:
“This dynamic can be very arousing for both people. For the male partner, it’s “humiliating, emasculating—or it can be—because other hot men see their wife as attractive, all of which have different varieties of arousal and can certainly bring spice into a marriage.” For the female partner who enjoys being a hotwife, it can be awesome to hold “a lot of power to go and hook up, have relations, and dalliances with other people as she desires.””
How do cuckolding and sex therapy fit together?
Traditionally, when someone thinks of a married couple going to sex therapy, they may think they are going because a partner cheated or because there is something left to be desired in the bedroom. The idea that a married couple is engaging in sex therapy to discuss a new sexual dynamic like cuckolding or hotwifing is new and progressive. Some may wonder how these two fit together. Others may wonder how an additional partner can be the solution to an issue in a marriage instead of the problem.
A sex therapy session is the ideal place to discuss the details of cuckolding or hotwifing and how it will impact different aspects of the relationship. Cuckold sex therapy helps to make sure both partners are on the same page and get the maximum amount of enjoyment from the experience.
Respark founder and owner Heather McPherson, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST, responded to the myth that only men enjoy cuckolding. She stated that with some straight couples she sees, this has been initiated by the self-identifying male partner because the woman is already cheating and the man has eroticized it. You can read more of the information she gives in the complete cuckolding article by The Body.
How to find a sex therapist who specializes in talking about cuckold in sex therapy
Not just any therapist is the best choice for cuckold sex therapy. There are certain elements to look for when beginning your search for a therapist who specializes in cuckold or hotwifing sex therapy.
- The therapist should provide a safe, shame-free and judgment-free space
- The therapist should be knowledgeable and/or certified in kink, certified in non-monogamy, or other alternative sexualities
- The therapist should have experience working with individuals or couples who engage in cuckolding or hotwifing
At Respark, progressive sexuality is our passion. While most therapists receive little to no education in sexuality, the therapists at Respark receive 200+ hours in sex therapy with training in couples therapy issues from one of the biggest comprehensive training programs in the world, Sexual Health Alliance. Additionally, many Respark therapists have done postgraduate training in couples therapy.
Many of Respark Therapists have additional highly specialized certifications including year-long training programs in Kink Informed Certification, Problem Sexual Behavior Certified (“Sex Addiction”), Open/Poly Certified and other critical issues related to relationships and sexual health.
To read profiles on each of our therapists, visit the links below. You’ll see a photo and a description of their education and experience. Remember, our therapists practice online, so even if you aren’t located in Texas, Colorado, or Washington, you can meet with a Respark therapist from the comfort of your home.
If you’re interested in learning more about cuckolding, hotwifing, and cuckold sex therapy, we have a few articles you may be interested in reading. If you have questions or want to schedule an appointment with a Respark Therapist, contact Respark today.
Additional Reading:
Why Cuckolding Has Become More Mainstream | Psychology Today