The Misrepresentation of BDSM in Fifty Shades of Grey
One would think that any portrayal of BDSM on TV or in films would then include consent and clear communication between all BDSM participants. If one were to watch the film Fifty Shades of Grey, they would see that they were wrong in their thought process and that BDSM is heavily misrepresented. Fifty Shades of Grey represents the complete opposite of the BDSM mantra of clear communication and consent through an extreme misrepresentation of the community. The film misrepresents the BDSM community by putting forth the idea that BDSM does not involve clear communication and consent, along with advancing the notion that submissives don’t have the power within the BDSM construct.
A healthy BDSM relationship ALWAYS involves consent. Before one can establish a healthy power play dynamic, it is essential “that all partners have consented to the roles they will play and understand the amount of power each will have.” In this sense, the definition of a healthy BDSM includes two things: clear consent and clear communication, but to break the term down further, the letters in BDSM refer to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism:
- Bondage and discipline refer to restraining and punishing another person through mechanisms including, but not limited to, handcuffs or rope-tying, whipping, spanking, or otherwise physically controlling and impacting a partner.
- Dominance and submission refer to the roles partners take on during this type of sex and the power each role has in the sexual relationship.
- Sadism refers to the enjoyment of watching someone else experience pain while masochism describes pleasure at feeling your pain.
Behind the Scenes
Initially, the screenwriter for the film, Kelly Marcel, actually wanted to do more research into the BDSM community before filming. She felt that the novel by E.L. James did not accurately represent the community and that the film may be the place to fix those errors. This caused controversy behind the scenes during film production, as E.L James wanted the film to closely resemble the novel. She wanted to give the fans exactly what they expected, and her creative vision included staying in line with the book’s content and dialogue. Marcel wanted to make the film more realistic by conducting further research into the BDSM community; one aspect she wanted to change was James’ safe word dialogue. In the book, for example, Ana says “stop,” while typically, in the BDSM community, submissives usually use a safe word like “red” to convey that they need a break. James however didn’t want to go in a different creative direction. This was an unfortunate mistake as both the movie and the novel fail to portray the BDSM community in an accurate way. Marcel was justified when she thought to do more research on the reality of the BDSM community, as it would’ve enhanced the relatability of the film.
The Misrepresentation
Fifty Shades of Grey first positions BDSM as reserved for those who are damaged. The movie delves into the concept of sex as control rather than love. For Christian, the book and movie’s male lead, BDSM is not a lifestyle but a need. This is problematic because BDSM is a form of sexual or erotic play that can influence someone’s lifestyle; BDSM is not something that a person should need to behave functionally in a relationship, just as it shouldn’t be all-controlling of an individual. While painting Christian as an individual who needs to dominate over the women in his life, the film also depicts BDSM as a lifestyle that is both socially unacceptable and reserved for damaged individuals–BDSM is deemed out of the ordinary. Christian is seen as a troubled man who prey’s on Ana’s innocence and virginity. Ana is supposed to “save” Christian by teaching him how to “love.” This further conveys that BDSM is not for the “normal” individual, but rather for people who need saving. According to the film, Ana enjoys “vanilla sex” because she is an innocent woman, while Christian yearns for BDSM because he is a damaged, strong man. Producers of the movie wanted to play on this ideology because the concept of sex sells, especially “kinky” sex between an attractive man and woman who don’t venture out of the world of heteronormativity.
The film also misrepresents the BDSM community by putting forth the message that there aren’t clear lines of consent and communication when practicing. The article “Fifty Shades of Consent?” by Francesca Tripodi highlights this perceived meaning. Within her article, she ventures inside the minds of those who practice the BDSM lifestyle through interviews in order to argue that since Fifty Shades continues to frame “…BDSM as a stigma, it obscures the important ways that BDSM communities work to create a culture of active consent.” Tripodi goes on to say that this act “is problematic because if audiences are turning to books like Fifty Shades as a form of ‘self-help,’ … Fifty Shades ultimately reifies the fact that consent, negotiation, and communication remain unexamined topics in “vanilla” versions of sex and love.” In heterosexual culture, it’s sometimes thought that silence is equivalent to consent when it comes to sexual acts. In the BDSM community, however, silence is never perceived to be a yes. There are clear boundaries and lines of communication that are practiced in the BDSM community, and Tripodi’s research looks to highlight these realities. A common theme in Fifty Shades is Ana being afraid to stop Christian’s advances because she didn’t want to lose a relationship with him. To Tripodi, “this frames consent as “silence means yes,” which is a situation inimical to BDSM culture and defies the point of safe words.” The book then undermines this greatly-followed code of BDSM ethics and puts forth the message that it’s okay to let your partner spank you or dominate you if it keeps him interested. Moreover, it supports the notion that to be submissive in a BDSM relationship is to be powerless. If a participant in BDSM has no power, then they aren’t able to give clear consent; this is, of course problematic.
The contract between Ana and Christian is a prime example of the misrepresentation of the BDSM community as it illustrates how the movie frames Ana (the submissive) as powerless in the relationship. It’s notable that the contract’s language is centered around the pleasure of Christan (the Dominant). Tripodi notes that “…one of the first stipulations under submissive acts is that she must ‘serve the Dominant in any way the Dominant sees fit and shall endeavor to please the Dominant at all times to the best of her ability.’” This sense of complete power and control was given to the Dominant is not reflective of actual BDSM relationships. In the series of interviews that Tripodi conducted, submissives were found to have more power in a BDSM relationship because they were the ones who would be subject to pain. Submissives are given more control over the relationship because it is essential they are comfortable and only experience pleasurable pain at all times. She continues “[D]ominants interviewed described it as their responsibility to give their submissive pleasure, and it is typically the submissive who picks out what toys to use and the threshold of pain.” This, of course, was not the case in Fifty Shades, as Christian controls every aspect of his sexual encounters with Ana down to the very last detail. Christian is not your typical BDSM Dom; he is much more of a calculated control freak than any true Dom. It’s not normal in a BDSM relationship for one person to completely control another individual.
Power and consent are two of the main tools a submissive has. By referencing a series of essays published in 2008, Tripodi discusses these tools in conjunction with the essay author’s thoughts. Together, these experts “…argue that submissives are often able to ‘find power’ through domination because they are deeply engaged in the negotiation process through which they articulate their sexual desires. One submissive described how a scene works:
It’s more like, I know what is going to happen I just don’t know when it’s going to happen—and then of course you can stop at any time, but either person could do that. (Veronica)”
This of course is not the case in Fifty Shades of Grey, as Ana never knows what’s going to happen during an encounter with Christian. Both the film and the novel provide Ana with no sexual agency of her own, as we don’t get to see Ana explore her sexuality in the film. Rather, the audience witnesses Christian exploring Ana’s sexuality for her and dominating every aspect of her life both inside and outside of the bedroom. This is a very unhealthy power dynamic that those in the BDSM community do not support. Portraying Ana as an innocent virgin who is afraid to say no to Christian is problematic because it strips her “…of agency rather than giving her the power over her sexual encounters, which BDSM respondents describe as central to a submissive’s role.” Ana is not a submissive because she finds sexual pleasure in the role but rather she acts as a submissive to please Christian—this is wrong.
While there’s nothing wrong with a movie portraying BDSM, there is something wrong when a film portrays it inaccurately. Fifty Shades of Grey grossly misrepresents the BDSM community and this is especially problematic for young viewers who may view the book or movie as education on the ways to have sex that go beyond “vanilla.” The film puts forth the message that there is an uneven, nonconsensual power dynamic in BDSM when this is simply not the case. Ana only engages in BDSM to try to foster a relationship with Christian; she is forced into the act. In Tripodi’s interviews many respondents were concerned that viewers of the film may get the same idea and may engage in nonconsensual sexual practices to try to save their relationships:
“…a lot of women might think—’oh, this isn’t really a part of me, but if a man came by and cracked a whip above my head maybe I could do it’ but that’s like, that’s not consensual. I think she just did it to try and appease him…”
True BDSM is about sexual agency, for both the dominant and submissive parties. Both individuals should have control over the situation and should always be clearly communicating and establishing consent. Fifty Shades is most definitely not a starter’s how-to guide into the world of BDSM but rather it’s a guide on what not to do when practicing the BDSM lifestyle.
By Alyssa Morterud