Stripping Down to the Truth: Sex Therapy Retreats
If attending a sex therapy session is dipping your toes into the world of sex, embarking on some sex therapy retreats is jumping right into the deep end. These experiences are relatively uncommon but are growing in the field of sex education. Oftentimes, these retreats combine elements of meditation, massage, personal growth, and discovery, and sexual exploration. Above all, these retreats are designed to positively impact the confidence, sensuality, and sexual experiences of individuals and couples who participate.
Founded by Pamela Madsen, a Certified Somatic Educator with a Master’s degree in Education, the company Back to the Body serves as one of the few sex therapy retreats doing exactly this. Along with private experiences and virtual offerings, Pamela and her team, who range from sex therapists to sexological bodyworkers, host week-long retreats in beautiful locations where women-identifying people and couples can join in a new experience of self-discovery. The draw may be in the mystery and excitement, but Back to the Body does list offerings that one can expect during their time away. Among these are one-on-one coaching sessions, bodywork sessions, and group discussions and activities. These activities are designed to open you to sexual experiences, increase arousal, identify desires, and build self-confidence and body positivity.
One of the more unique features of these sex therapy retreats is the Sexological Body Work, which is a hards-on somatic touch that may involve a practitioner touching the body of the client in order to create more understanding, exploration, and experience with one’s sexuality. In addition to touch, practitioners may also use techniques such as boundary-setting, mindfulness, and breathwork to accomplish these goals. This form of sex education can be beneficial in physically working through past trauma, psychological pain, and self-esteem issues. Sex counselor Heather Howard contributes that sexological bodywork can help clients find comfort and pleasure after changes in their bodies such as those who have received gender-affirming surgeries or postpartum parents.
Because of this practice’s hands-on approach, and the optional use of genital touch and penetration, this practice is considered illegal in some US states where it is classified as sex work. The main difference between sexological bodywork and sex work is that bodywork is clinical and restorative, not driven by gratification. It also uses one-way touch and focuses on a professional-client/practitioner relationship between the two or more people. While sex work is typically classified by its physical expression, somatic bodywork can include techniques and practices that are completely touch-free–these sessions can even be done virtually!
An important aspect of somatic sex education and something that Back to the Bodyworks diligently on is maintaining the clinical relationship between all parties involved. Pamela speaks to this on an episode of the podcast Sex with Emily, where she emphasizes the importance of a no-contact policy between client and practitioner, as well as an understanding that the workers (who in her retreat are male-identifying) are there to serve the clients without expectation or allowance for reciprocation. This policy also alleviates some of the pressure and anxiety that women-identifying people often experience during sex. Another critically important piece is consent, which needs to be verbal and enthusiastic at every point in the experience. For healing, it is especially important that the client knows the process can stop at any time, and that they feel confident enough to advocate for their own well-being during the session.
Coming up in May 2022, Back to the Body is hosting a New Orleans retreat that will center around roleplay and submission. Participants will be called to explore fantasy elements of sex, along with kink practices like denial, impact play, and character fantasy. The goals of the retreat include finding power and pleasure in surrendering sexually, identifying kinks and desires, and exploring personal strength and vulnerability. The retreat is housed in a luxury estate and catered by a private chef. And if this idea feels intimidating, they offer consultations to answer questions and address concerns for potential participants.
In addition to live, in-person retreats, Back to the Body also has an online course titled, “mind, heart, belly, vulva.” This is described as a 16 video masterclass with a guidebook and activities, which include themes for each of the four areas of focus. These themes include living authentically, desire, belly shame, fierce femininity, genital self-esteem, and pleasure. The videos provide sex education, motivation, and assistance in exploring your sexuality and your relationship with your body, as well as making steps to increase your self-confidence and advocacy for pleasure. They also offer virtual sexological bodywork sessions which consist of one-on-one coaching and mentoring; these can help integrate learned skills and explore advocating for your own pleasure. These online options may be a great first step for anyone who is interesting in exploring the world of immersive sexual education.
Comprehensive and person-focused sex education has so much value, especially for women-identifying, nonbinary, and genderfluid individuals who may not have grown up having their sexuality affirmed. For many people, these themes of desire, eroticism, and pleasure have been sites of shame and oppression through their development, and sex education and counseling can be the step they need to unlock their full sexuality.
By Sydney Sullivan