5 Reasons Why Talking About Money Can Improve Your Sex Life | Zeta

By Taylor Spaziani, Respark Clinical Manager

On November 9th, 2020 Respark Therapy and Sexual Health Alliance’s founder and director, Heather McPherson, was featured in Zeta’s article about why talking about money can improve your sex life (Goldwert, 2020). 

 

Lindsay Goldwert discusses in this article how our sexuality and our financials are similar. Both of these things are both current factors and major baggage from our pasts. Both of these things have societal stigmas around them. And with that, becoming confident in these areas of our lives can ensure a long-lasting love in both your relationships and your financial well being. 5 essential themes that this article discusses are: money and sexuality are both a part of your story, talking about it can help you avoid secrets and can also help you avoid feelings of rejection, it can help you get through some very hard times, and it can help you to feel like equal partners. 

 

Heather McPherson explains that “Your personal story and history about money can affect your relationship in either a positive or negative way. If you grew up being told that money doesn’t grow on trees and that you need to just get a job no matter if you love it or not, that’s going to affect every purchase you make and how you plan for life goals and retirement.” And the same goes for the messaging that we received around sex growing up. If it was ever shameful or unspoken about, it can make talking about it now really quite uncomfortable. 

 

Creating clear communication can help you to avoid secrets in your relationship. Heather says, “If one partner is in debt or has a secret around money, it can be just as devastating as an affair. It is a breach of trust in the relationship that now will require work to rebuild.” Sometimes brutally honest communication can prevent us from treacherous heartbreak. 

 

Communicating this clearly can also help you to avoid feeling rejected. Heather explains, “People are afraid of being rejected. They are scared that their partner will not want to help with the debt or maybe will not understand how or why they are in the current situation.” Transparent conversations are absolutely crucial. 

 

Conversation can also help you feel like equal partners, and with this together you can get through really, really hard times. For instance, Heather says, “If one person handles all the money decisions and the other partner doesn’t have any idea about what’s going on then it’s more common for the person that handles everything to become resentful and frustrated that they have all the responsibility.” When we commit to one another, we agree to take care of one another and communication in times of distress is absolutely a form of relational care. 

 

Lindsay Goldwert suggests that you start having conversations like these early on in your relationship, but also never feel like it is too late to try and make a change. Clear communication can be very hard, but we ensure you it is the key to a successful relationship. 

 

Next Steps & Resources:

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What online counseling options do I have?

For the past decade we have excelled at online therapy, tele-therapy and phone counseling. We have seen couples online and conducted Sex Therapy online through video platforms. Everything can be completed online including your intake, first session all the way through graduation! You can even find a Respark Therapist or Coach and book your first session online without having to pick up the phone. Many of our clients love online therapy as there are so many pros! Learn more about our online couples therapy, online individual therapy and online Sex Therapy process here.

What is Respark all about?

We have therapists throughout all of Texas and Colorado. We offer the best couples therapy and sex therapy because our team had 200+ hours of training post graduate. Many of them are already certified or about to become certified sex therapists. We have therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, eating disorders and Health at Every Size informed.

I want to become a sex therapist or sexual health professional, how do I do that?
Check out our podcast with Respark Founder, Heather McPherson at Practice Outside the Lines.

I want to become a certified sex therapist or certified sex coach or educator?

We also started one of the largest sexual health training organizations in the country. Check out Sexual Health Alliance for sexuality certification programs.

I need additional support around growing my sexual health focused practice as a sex therapist, sex coach or sexuality professional. Where can I find more information?

We started Practice Outside the Lines to support new and seasoned sexuality professionals learn how to start and grow a sexual health focused business.