Restoring Intimacy Amidst Holiday Stress: Insights from Sex Therapists
Restoring intimacy during the holidays is something sex therapists greatly emphasize. We understand that the holidays are hindered by stress and feeling disconnected from your partner(s). Whether you’re stressed by making food, traveling, seeing a particular family member, or even the rupture in your routine, we are here to provide some guidance for you and your partner(s). Feeling connected and having intimate moments this holiday season will help buffer against the overwhelming stress and chaos this time of year invites. The holiday season can be stressful, but fear not! This blog provides insights from sex therapists on how they help restore intimacy amidst the holiday hustle. Learn about the strategies and tools these professionals use to navigate the stress and bring couples closer during the festive season.
Tactics for Restoring Intimacy
Naughty Messages: Whether you’re at a family’s house, surrounded by your loved ones, stuck in a hotel room, or hosting your loved ones, there’s bound to be others around you and your partner(s) this holiday season. While the time for intimacy may be limited or breached by others’ presence, one way to continue feeling hot for your romantic partner(s) is by sending each other private naughty messages. Sending hot messages allows you to still feel connected and passionate despite the holiday chaos. Sexting can be especially important in maintaining intimacy if you and your partner(s) are not sharing the holidays together.
- Here are some examples of hot texts, but remember to personalize yours’ for deeper intimacy!
- “I wish I could feel you right now.”
- “I can’t stop thinking about what we would do if we were together.”
- “In the shower last night I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
- Important reminder: Make sure you have consent from your partner(s) to send these texts!
Massages: Maintaining your physical interactions with your partner(s) this holiday season does not have to be limited to sexual intercourse! Massages are a great way to bring back warmth and comfort of a romantic touch. Massages can be an alternative for sexual activity, or they can be a wonderful way to initiate sexual intimacy. Your intimacy needs may look different while experiencing the holiday stress. That is why it is so important to communicate with your partner(s) around the intention behind the massage (or any physical touch) so there is an agreement or boundary set in place before engaging. We do not want you to cause more stress for yourself or others’ by not having this conversation!
- Remember to pack up some oil or lotion to ensure the best practices for your skin-to-skin contact.
Gift of Giving: Intimacy is not restricted to physical touch. We mustn’t forget the gift of giving this holiday season. If you celebrate the holidays with gifts, getting your partner(s) a sexy little outfit or a new sex toy can be a great way to get experiential and bring back the spice into the room without even touching. Intimate presents also include a date night, a love letter, meaningful crafts, shared activities, and more. Make sure to tailor your partner(s) gifts to their preferences, while maintaining the intention of feeling closer.
Plan Ahead for Alone Time: Spice things up by planning and setting aside time to have for just you and your partner(s) to share together. Making a plan includes having open communication with your partner(s) so there is a clear understanding of the arrangements. Creating space for your intimacy must be intentional this holiday season, as we know the days can be hectic. This is a form of self-care! Take care of your own needs amidst the chaos to feel supported and connected to your partner(s), so you can show up as your best self throughout the holidays.
- Alternative: Enjoy sneaking off for a quickie? Maybe you are turned on by spontaneity. Communicate this desire with your partner and wait for a moment to get physical together!
Show Your Partner Around: Are you traveling back home and bringing a partner this season? Introduce them to the environments that are meaningful to you! Show them a side of you they potentially haven’t seen before. Whether it’s driving them around your hometown, looking through an old photo album, or meeting up with distant relatives/friends, allow your loved one(s) to witness a new perspective on your upbringing. This is an act of vulnerability that can open up new doors to feeling emotionally connected and close to your romantic partner(s) during the holidays.
Communicate Communicate Communicate! Did I mention this yet? Communicating your personal stressors to your partner(s) throughout the holiday season is extremely crucial! Help them help you by opening up about that one family member that crosses your boundaries and makes hurtful comments or your worries towards holiday finances. No matter the stressful trigger, having an open dialogue and sharing what’s on your mind can help you feel more supported. The greater you feel supported and listened to, the greater chance you have to relieve some of the holiday stress. Tackle the stress together by openly communicating to gain a renewed sense of closeness with your partner(s).
As sex therapists, our goal is to empower you and your partner(s) with tools and insights to navigate the holiday season while fostering a deep, meaningful connection. By implementing these strategies and prioritizing open communication, you can restore and even enhance intimacy, making this festive season a time of renewed closeness and connection.
Struggling to feel close to your partner(s) this holiday season? A sex therapist can help navigate this challenge with you. Get ready to rediscover intimacy and contact us today!
Meet the Author
Hi! My name is Kaylyn, and I am an LPC-A with a focus on sex therapy. I work at Respark Therapy, an all-inclusive, sex-positive practice. I am currently enrolled in the Sexual Health Alliance with the goal of becoming ASSECT certified. Thanks for reading and continuing to support our professional and psychoeducational blog!