Self-Care Tactics from a Sex Therapist

In this article, you will learn how self-care enhances our well-being and some of the techniques we sex therapists use to help our clients gain and maintain a successful self-care routine. There are many self-care techniques that are employed to enhance clients’ well-being. However, there are a few fundamental considerations of self-care that should be explored in order to create the best caring practices. Follow along for guidance on creating a personalized self-care routine that will bring out your best self. 

Self-Care Defined

Let’s begin with defining self-care. You hear it all the time, “take care!” What does taking care of oneself even mean? Dictionary.com defines self-care as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health” and “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress”. Let’s break these down. Within these two definitions, you can see that self-care is a practice or an active role to take in one’s journey. Self-care is an action. Additionally, this practice allows the opportunity for you to protect, preserve, and progress your health. From a sex therapist’s perspective, we emphasize how self-care allows you to take control of your mental and sexual health, and give yourself the necessary efforts and attention you need. Continue reading to learn some particular actions of self-care that will promote the best, healthiest versions of who you are! 

Self-Compassion

One of the actions you need to incorporate in your self-care routine is a self-compassion practice. Having self-compassion is of utmost importance when it comes to managing your mental and sexual health. Being self-compassionate means being on your own side and giving yourself the kindness you deserve. This can look like: saying kind and gentle thoughts to yourself, treating yourself as you would treat a friend, and giving yourself grace when it comes to making mistakes. We all tend to be hard on ourselves; giving yourself the benefit of the doubt and responding with compassion allows you to release the shame or guilt weighing you down. Having self-compassion is self-care, as you need to be treated with care and kindness. Here are some of my favorite self-compassion exercises I use with clients. 

Mindful Check-Ins

Getting in the habit of mindfully checking in with yourself is a huge form of self-care. You need to be tended to in order to navigate your decision-making. How will you know when you need to take a break or request assistance from a partner? You need to check in with yourself! These check-ins can be done with yourself or with a partner(s). During these mindful check-ins, reflect on your emotional state (what are you feeling right now?), your physical sensations (what is your body telling you or where can you feel the emotion in your body?), and what behaviors you’ve engaged in (Was this course of action helpful?) Assess where you are at, and then base your next steps on this assessment. Make this a new habit! Incorporate this into your regular routine, such as before bed or while drinking your morning coffee. Additionally, you should check in after a difficult conversation, in preparation for sex, and other potentially stressful circumstances. Having this thoughtful meeting with yourself or others will encourage self-awareness and ultimately inform you on what kind of care you are needing. This can be brought up in a therapy session with a sex therapist as well, if you need more guidance on how to facilitate a check-in. 

 

Most Importantly: Find What Works for You

There are traditional self-care practices that sex therapists recommend, such as exercising, meditation, going for walks, taking a bubble bath, etc. These practices work well for many. However, the realm of self-care techniques you utilize is completely up to you! We are all diverse individuals who have different needs, which allows room for various forms of care. In order to align with your self-care actions, reflect on what your values, desires, and interests are. What would make you feel taken care of? Whether it’s thrashing around to some heavy metal to release energy or splattering paint on a canvas to express emotions, you should do what works for you. I recommend tapping into your creative mind and exploring what your realm of self-care can look like. It’s important to note that these acts of care can be altered at any time! You may need a different form of support based on the circumstance. 

 

Let’s shift the mindset from self-care being a chore and reframe the concept to reflect an act of self-love, as you are recognizing just how immensely important you are. Self-care is empowering! Take back what is yours today. Start your self-care journey and connect with Respark today for more guidance on becoming the best version of yourself. 

 

Meet the Author

Hi! My name is Kaylyn and I am an LPC-A with a focus on sex therapy. I work at Respark Therapy, an all-inclusive, sex-positive practice. I am currently enrolled in the Sexual Health Alliance with the goal of becoming ASSECT certified. Thanks for reading and continuing to support our professional and psychoeducational blog!