Insights from Sex Therapists: Preparing for Holiday Stress
Here are some insights from sex therapists at Respark that will help you maintain self-care through this holiday season. During the holidays, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Our mindsets shift towards taking care of others and how we can provide gifts, food, and loving spirit. While it is fulfilling to take part in your holiday roles, it can be draining. In order to make sure you are able to show up for others, let’s first make sure you are able to show up for yourself.
1. Maintain Your Routine
Remaining in your current day to day flow will help you feel more stable during this holiday season. With the weekends filled with social gatherings, it can be challenging to have a sense of stability to rely on. When dealing with stressful upcoming events, it is important to maintain some consistency to help you feel regulated and prepared. Make sure you are still taking care of yourself by setting aside time to enact your regular self-care routine. Need help with embarking on a self-care routine that works for you? Respark has the support you’re looking for.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Your body, mind, and emotions experience a mixture of experiences while immersed in the holiday stress. Checking in with yourself is one way to build awareness on what you are experiencing and what you may need. Start by asking yourself “what is my body feeling right now?” Completing a body scan can help you gain insight on what your physical sensations are telling you. Listening to your body will indicate where you are at physically and emotionally. After you tune into your present experience, you can then analyze the next steps. Do you need a break or physical affection?
3. Know Your Limits
Before you engage with your family this season, let’s first make sure you understand your limits. What are your familial boundaries? Boundaries can be an important awareness to have going into events, as they can help guide you towards a safer experience. Is there a family member that may trigger you with their comments, and if so how do you plan on responding? Preparing oneself for the potential upcoming triggers will give you an idea on how you would like to react to their actions.
4. Communicate Your Boundaries
When experiencing stressful times, it is important to communicate your perspective with loved ones. At Respark, we encourage couples and families to have an open dialogue around feelings, concerns, and expectations. Communicating your boundaries to your family and partner(s) is important so they are aware of where your limits exist. Ensuring that you and your partner are on the same page before going into the holidays will encourage feelings of security and safety before and during the social gatherings.
5. State Your Needs
Exploring what your needs are ahead of time will help you and your partner understand what factors will contribute to a successful holiday season. If you need to spend more time with loved ones, communicate this value to your partner or family member. If you need to take some time for self-care, communicate your stressors and reliefs. Using “I” language statements such as “I need to take a break because I am overwhelmed” is one way you can effectively communicate what you are experiencing. 
6. Allow Support
After evaluating your needs it’s important to recognize where others may come into play. It takes a village to throw together parties, events, and social gatherings. During this time, allow others to help support you in the ways you need. Ask yourself “How can my partner(s) support me during this time?” For example, bring the kids in to help prepare food for an all-hands-on-deck experience! Inviting family members to help out will lessen your individual stressors and build connection through teamwork. Remember: it is okay to ask and receive help from others.
7. Take Breaks
Knowing when you have reached your limit is important, and so is the next step: what do you do when you’ve reached max capacity? One way to regulate and take care of yourself is to take a break. With a long to do list of your holiday duties, knowing when to pause is essential. In order to effectively complete your duties, taking breaks is helpful in alleviating the stress and exhaustion of the tasks. Tackle your list one step at a time!
8. Rest
Did the break rejuvenate you? If not, it’s time to set aside the tasks and rest. Holiday efforts are draining, especially if you are low on energy. Taking the time to refuel and recharge is crucial in aiding in your stress. Ensuring you have allotted the time to get a good night’s sleep will promote higher energy levels and lessen the stress hormones coursing through your day. Learn more about how sleep reduces stress.
These helpful tools are just some of the ways you can maintain the strength to persevere through the holidays. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor is recommended if stress or relational issues become overwhelming. At Respark, we will support you through this holiday season with our professional guidance. Book your appointment today!
Meet the Author
Hi! My name is Kaylyn and I am an LPC-A with a focus on sex therapy. I work at Respark Therapy, an all-inclusive, sex positive practice. I am currently enrolled in the Sexual Health Alliance as a student with the goal of becoming ASSECT certified. Thanks for reading my insights from a sex therapists and continuing to support our professional and psychoeducational blog!
References
How does sleep reduce stress? – blog: Everlywell: Home Health Testing Made Easy. Everlywell. (n.d.). https://www.everlywell.com/blog/sleep-and-stress/how-does-sleep-reduce stress/#:~:text=Better%20emotional%20regulation%20%E2%80%93%20When%20you,good%20night%27s%20sleep%20%5B11%5D
Therapist Aid. (2022, December 7). Body scan script (worksheet). https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/body-scan-script
By: Kaylyn Adams