Why is Sex SO Important in a Relationship?
Relationships are complicated, to begin with, and things often only continue to complicate when people try to incorporate intimacy into their daily lives. Intimacy is vital in relationships, but there is no exact formula on how important sex is to a relationship. Ultimately, “Everyone’s different, and what’s important for some may not be at all important for others. It ultimately depends on your personal beliefs, physical desires, and the nature of your relationship.” (Healthline) It’s important to note that sex is not necessary for a healthy and fulfilling relationship and a lot of individuals only engage in sex once and a while. In addition, there are many reasons why people don’t want to have sex, including:
- having a low libido (also known as “sex drive”)
- living with an underlying medical condition, such as chronic pain
- wanting to date for a longer period of time before having sex
- being unmarried and wanting to abstain from sex before marriage (Healthline)
However, for many others, sex and intimacy are crucial in their relationship. When thinking about sex within relationships, it’s important to remember that sexuality exists on a spectrum, “Asexual people experience little-to-no sexual attraction…while allosexual people do experience sexual attraction.” (Healthline) Due to the fluidity of sexuality, there are an infinite amount of ways in which one can approach sex in their relationship. As long as consent is a critical factor in one’s approach to sex, there is no wrong way to incorporate sex and intimacy into your relationship!
The Importance of Sex
There are many reasons why sex can be important in a relationship, including:
- It could be an opportunity to bond with your partner.
- It could be an opportunity to show your partner love and affection.
- You might feel more secure in your relationship if you’re having sex often.
- Finally, it could simply be pleasurable and fun.
- You could be trying to become pregnant. (Healthline)
Overall, sex is important in relationships because it enhances intimacy through both physical and emotional connection. A 2017 study conducted by “Anik Debrot and colleagues (2017) ‘points to the surprising role not of the sex itself, but of the affection that accompanies sexuality between partners” (psychologytoday) as the reason why sex can be essential to relationships. The results were able to “pinpoint ways rhat everyday kissing, hugging, and touch between partners contributes uniquely to relationship satisfaction and overall well-being.” (psychologytoday) The study concluded with the following phrase:
“Hence, sex seems not only beneficial because of its physiological or hedonic effects … but because it promotes a stronger and more positive connection with the partner” (p. 296). (psychologytoday)
In this sense, the affection/ intimate component of sex is a crucial part when it comes to healthy relationships. Sex allows for intense emotional connection and paves the way for individuals to be affectionate with their partner(s), in turn fostering a stronger bond. Moreover, this study proves that sex is not the only form of intimacy that add’s to a relationship’s well-being. “Affectionate touch, for example, can be a great way to be intimate. Some non-sexual forms of physical intimacy include:
Fullfilment within relationships depends on a multitude of factors, of which sex is just one. Sex is only one form of intimacy that you can share with your partner(s) to foster a deeper connection within your relationship! It’s important to have intimacy within a relationship, but everyones definition of intimacy is different. Don’t forget: sexuality is a spectrum, every person has different sexual needs and desires that are valid.
By: Alyssa Morterud