Self Intimacy – How to Get the Most out of “Me-Time”
By: Alyssa Morterud
Me- time or self intimacy can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people. For the purpose of this blog, we are going to be talking about, in my opinion, the most pleasurable way to have some genuine self-care time- masturbation. Masturbation can look different for every individual. Even if you look to masturbation for its sole purpose of releasing sexual tension, you can still get a lot out of the experience. For example, masturbation can fall under the category of self-love, it can be a great way to appreciate your body and take some time to focus on your individual desires and needs. In this sense, a good way to approach masturbation as “me-time” is to look at the act as an extension of self-love. Dr. Shannon Chavez provides us with some great advice in an interview for Fred Far, a self-love movement. Dr. Chavez is a licensed sex therapist and she provides the following definition for self-love:
“Self-love is nurturing, adoring, and appreciating your body. Taking care of your mind by observing thoughts, emotions, and beliefs.” (fredandfar)
Self-love isn’t always easy, considering our society teaches us to critique our imperfections rather than love them. If you’re looking to get more out of your “me-time” then you need to nurture your relationship with yourself, just as you would with a partner(s). Sex therapy can be a great resource during this process. The relationship between sex therapy and self-intimacy is complimentary!
How Sex Therapy Can Help
Sex therapy and self intimacy go hand in hand.
Masturbation is sometimes considered a “taboo” topic and on top of self-love struggles, it can be difficult to deal with the sexual shame surrounding the idea of masturbation. If you’re struggling with shame surrounding masturbation sex therapy can help you! Dr. Chaves provides us with some great tips in her interview. She notes that sex therapy can help and it “…involves a mind-body approach using mindfulness training, orgasm coaching and priming, and permission to explore sexuality without shame and guilt.” (fredandfar) In this sense, you can work with your body to become more comfortable with the idea of self-pleasure and in return, you may get more out of “me-time”.
Moreover, masturbation is a way to have sex and in this sense, it can be a very meaningful experience. Dr. Chavez notes that “sex is definitely more than what we do with our genitals. It represents who we are and the values we hold around pleasure and connection.” (fredandfar) In this sense, it is worth it to take time to work toward enhancing your masturbation time- it can be a valid way to explore your identity. For example, you can explore new toys or positions with yourself and experience sensations that are different from those you experience during sex with (a) partner(s). You can learn how to treat your body with the same level of intimacy and affection that your current or past partner(s) have. In this sense, “It’s important to develop habits around self-love that include sexual pleasure. We are not encouraged to develop a healthy relationship with self. Making changes around self-love can change how you experience sex and lead to better sexual awareness.” (fredandfar)