Engaging the Senses: Erotic Things That Aren’t Erotic
Sensuality, by definition alone, goes deeper than just sex. In thinking about some things that might feel erotic but don’t include nudity and sexual behavior, here are some SHA tips for engaging all of the senses:
Engaging the senses: SIGHT
Sight may be the most obvious of the bunch, so let’s get it out of the way first. While wearing clothing may be the opposite of getting undressed, certain ones are designed to invoke specific feelings for the onlooker – particularly, sexy feelings. Along these lines, well-fitted suits and sundresses are the clear standouts. Part of the reasoning for this is for the form-fitting nature of the articles of clothing, but another reason simply has to do with seeing a person you care about feeling comfortable in their own skin. Additionally, adjusting certain articles of clothing can be stimulating. For instance, unbuttoning a couple of the top buttons on a dress shirt or loosening a tie feels close to getting undressed, and can therefore create some tingling sensations.
There are some other general sights that create this type of sexual tension. Setting the mood with any type of low lighting, even the ever-more-common LED’s, helps everyone feel a little more sultry. Moreover, some skills can be attractive as well. Some think that being able to drive a manual car, or having a partner that does, feels erotic. Further, being able to play sports such as soccer, gymnastics, ballet, or even yoga is both impressive and erotic, a killer combination. We all know being active boosts endorphins and performance in bed, so this is another aspect that can mimic eroticism. These skills can be learned over time, as well, so if you’re looking to boost your attraction and endorphin levels, consider trying out some new hobbies!
Erotic Things: SOUND
Audio-erotica is another way to stimulate the senses. Whether it’s music or conversation, listening to something can help to engage all senses in a sexually-enticing way. Putting a sexy playlist on in the background of a normally mundane activity can immediately boost your mood. Similarly, taking your partner(s) to a concert and swaying with them in your arms can be a great way to connect.
In conversation, using your partner’s name often and unexpectedly can increase attention and might even make your bonding stronger. Other characteristics related to voices, although not alterable, can give certain people an extra advantage. For instance, some people report liking rich, husky voices because it reminds them of a morning-after voice, emulating sexual encounters. Further, accents are generally regarded as sexy. So, when in doubt, visit another place to increase your appeal!
Engaging the senses: SMELL
Another aspect one cannot alter but only enhance, is their scent. Pheromones have always been an interesting concept to me because while everyone has them, you cannot necessarily smell them – it’s more of a sense. Think about walking into the house of a loved one after a long time of not seeing them. That familiar scent can immediately bring back memories with that person or in that home. Pheromones are thought to only have roles in reproductive sexual behavior, but in humans, we can harness these smells for so much more. Additionally, whatever your pheromones, someone out there will be unable to resist them. As far as enhancement goes, some studies show that post-sex, pheromones become stronger. This means that masturbating before embarking on a date might have more favorable outcomes because pheromones are produced as they mix with sweat, and solo play can be quite intensive.
Further, perfumes and cologne serve to create specific scents for different moods or desired reactions. So, if you’re uncomfortable with relying simply on your pheromones or sweat to provide sexual tension, these can be a great option. To really round out the scene, lighting some candles can create a curated scent profile for you and your partner(s). Not only do candles come in just about any scent under the sun now, but some even find the smell of fire itself erotic. Whether it be a beach bonfire or more of a roasting-chestnuts-over-a-fireplace sort of thing, you really can’t go wrong.
Erotic Things: TASTE
With taste, I think the main thing to focus on is indulgence. Engaging your tastebuds can be especially stimulating, considering that the tongue and lips are some of the biggest erogenous zones on the human body. Tasting lipgloss or chapstick when kissing another is definitely erotic-like, but even just using these products on your own lips can build some self-love because of those feelings. In addition, eating foods like steak and sushi can be a decadent experience, although a somewhat expensive one. If you’re looking for a cheaper option, try chocolate and/or strawberries. Pair these with a nice glass of wine or sparkling water for the full erotic experience. Moreover, if you’re looking for a new activity to try with your partners, consider taking a cooking class or spending the night making a lovely at-home meal. This type of date night can really involve all of the senses, if you play your cards right!
Engaging the senses: TOUCH
Last but not least, we have touch. Again, this is probably a common one when you think of eroticism, but there might still be some areas for exploration. For example, while the act of spooning might be an obvious sensual choice, doing so on freshly washed sheets can greatly enhance the experience. This not only allows you to fully feel your partner’s embrace, but also indicates a level of dedication to the moment in the preparation you put in. Further, if you struggle to stay in the moment because of other things on your mind, this will be one less thing on your to-do list so you can soak in all that goodness. Another thing to try while in this position is giving your partner a light back scratch. This type of touch can cause chills and a sense of stimulation all over the body.
Later, you can expand on this in the shower when you wash your partner’s hair. In my opinion, having someone else wash your hair is one of life’s simplest, most underrated joys. Essentially, this will boost connection and serve as an Act of Service in Love Languages. Finally, many people find touch especially enticing when they come suddenly or absent-mindedly. For instance, resting your hand on your partner’s thigh as you drive, or putting your hand on the small of their back in a crowded room shows that you’re thinking about them when other things are on your foremind. These are all great things when you’re trying to step up that erotic energy!
Let us know in the comments what else you consider erotic that isn’t really erotic. We want to know how you are engaging the senses!
At Respark Therapy, we’re here to help you create healthy relationships, find pleasure, and spark joy. To explore more about sex and marriage counseling, connect with our Care Team at: care@respark.co or call (512)-537-0922.