Discussion and Guide of Tantric Sex

During a tantric sex session, the primary aim is to be present at the moment in order to achieve a greater and more sensual sexual experience. This article will aim to explore what tantric sex is, what happens within a tantra session, get to know your body and your partner’s body, and give a brief overview of positions and practices. 

Mindbodygreen defines tantric sex as “a sexual practice that’s part of the ancient spiritual path known as tantra” with the word “‘tantra”’ being a Sanskrit term that translates to “weave.” This idea of weaving correlates to the unity of the masculine and feminine forces that is present within us all and ultimately collapses the polarities. Tantric sex can be described as being “a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.”

Tantric sex involves a plethora of erotic activities which can vary from person to person. Notably, tantric sex does not always involve the same kind of penetration and physical stimulation of erogenous zones that many associates with sex. Instead, a tantra session focuses on the subtle realms of sex. This includes slow embraces, gentle caresses, getting present within the body, and focusing on the movement of energy between the partners’ bodies. You may find that there are moments during tantric sex where you are hardly moving, and instead, the focus is on a meditative dimension. All sexual energy can be transformed into tantric when done with awareness. “Tantric sex can dive into the raw, intense, and animalistic spaces, where the body’s instinctual intelligence takes over and you are blind to pleasure.”

Tantric sex encourages people to get to know their own bodies and become in tune with them. This understanding of your own body and desires can allow you to incorporate this newfound knowledge of your body into sex with a partner. In order to understand what your body wants, it can be useful to engage in tantric self-love or masturbation. If you find you are having emotional blocks around self-touch, be curious but gentle with yourself as you try to explore what is preventing you from getting to know your body in a more intimate manner. Some may find they are uncomfortable with masturbation, and that is okay! They may find they are far more comfortable learning about their body and their desires through partnered sex. But as is the case with any sexual activity, if at any point a person or their partner becomes uncomfortable, the activity should stop. 

HOW TO PRACTICE TANTRIC SEX 

The first suggested step is to create a safe and sacred space. Make a conscious effort to disconnect from the mundane world and enter the world of the Divine, or in other words, the world of pleasure. Make sure to turn off any devices that could cause a distraction, light candles or your choice of incense, and gather any special treats (such as chocolate or your favourite snacks). Once your space is created, purify it and yourself, which can be done by showering and dressing in something you feel confident in. Additionally, take some time to purify your space by making it tidy and open. After this, take a moment to set your intention for this tantric session; take your time to acknowledge what you want to gain from this, whether this is to show your partner how much you love them, or simply to learn more about your body. 

Step two involves “soul gazing.” With this, you should sit up straight and face your partner, and gaze softly into their eyes. You may want to hold hands whilst doing this. By gazing into their soul, you can allow your love to shine out through your eyes. Whilst gazing at your partner, you may find yourself seeing the divine spark in their eyes. Try doing this for two minutes, and whilst doing so, notice what emotions or sensations come up. Note this isn’t a staring contest, you are allowed to blink or close your eyes for a few seconds and then open them back up again.

Following on from soul gazing, you may want to try the hands-on-heart circuit techniques. Mindbodygreen explains this as bringing “your hands to your own heart and breathe up into your heart. As you feel the love that is welling up in your heart for your partner, reach across and place your right hand on your partner’s heart (with consent), and they can place their right hand on your heart. Each person’s left hand then covers the hand on their own heart. Synchronize your breathing, with slow, deep, nourishing breaths.”

Tantric massages might be another way you chose to practice tantric sex. During this, one partner will lie back and simply receive, this gives them the chance to tune into their pleasure and sexual energy, seeing how it wants to open up through this body. The other partner moves their hands slowly and meditatively. There are multiple massage techniques you can try out! There is a tantric massage for the vagina and clitoris, a massage for the penis, and, my favourite, tantric nipple play!

Finally, there is the yab-yum position, a classic tantric sex position that represents the two divine energies of masculine and feminine. Note that these are just energies, it does not matter the gender of the participants. “The base partner (representing Shiva, who is energetically or physically penetrative) sits cross-legged on a pillow in the “holding” position while the other partner (representing Shakti, who is energetically or physically receptive) can either drape their legs over their partner’s legs with their butt on the bed or a pillow or can fully sit in the lap of their partner. The base partner’s arms should go around the waist of the other partner, whose arms go around the shoulders of the base partner. Your heads can be cheek to cheek, or you can touch forehead to forehead.” During this position, try to synchronize your breathing. Then, begin to move together, finding a flow and a rhythm that activates your sexual energy together. This position can be practiced fully clothed, naked, or in whatever form of penetration you like. It is completely up to you! 

Tantric sex is a phenomenal way to connect with your partner, whilst also connecting with your body and your energies. Others may find that tantric sex is helpful in aiding the release of sexual blocks and shame, furthermore, they may find it a way to heal from sexual trauma. If you want to try tantric sex, make sure to take it slow and constantly communicate. Let your energies awaken and your sexual spirit activate!

By Stephanie McCartney