From Lockdown to Loving; Sexual Satisfaction is On the Rise!
Throughout 2020, there have been countless negatives that have made it more than accurate to call the year quite distressing. From a global pandemic, racial injustices, economic difficulties down to murder hornets, the year has developed itself into a nearly constant downward sloping trend, and coping with the issues has been not only necessary but notoriously difficult. Surprisingly, some couples’ favorite coping mechanism has had a serious upswing! Coming as no surprise to the knowledgeable sex therapists among our ranks, sexual satisfaction has hit a sizable uptick! A recent eharmony study titled “Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” showing new and sizable improvements in sexual satisfaction throughout 2020. With 2,000 participants surveyed, 39% on average said that the level of sexual satisfaction in their relationships had changed for the better! Along lines of gender, however, there remains a level of disagreement with 50% of men stating an improvement in their sex life while a lesser 29% of women stated the same. (Author’s note, this study did not include nonbinary or genderfluid participants and seemed to focus on heterosexual couples.) So why the discrepancy? Well, that depends.
According to Nedra Glover Tawwab, (licensed relationship and marriage counselor and owner of Kaleidoscope Counseling), this seems to be another divisive line in the sand between the male and female participants as to what they consider “good sex” to be. After all, the above percentages were not the only ones taken into account; the study also found that 45% of men stated they were having sex more frequently in response to 29% of women. Adhering at the moment to the male central idea demonstrated here, the conclusion can be drawn that what is considered “a better sex life” can be directly contributed to the frequency at which sex is occurring. In response to these statistics, Tawaab had this to say; “Having sex doesn’t mean that your sex life is healthy necessarily, but for men, perhaps their idea of having an improved sex life is improved frequency.” Also addressing the discrepancy between the two, she followed up with this statement; “For women, they may have a different concept of the sexual experience. So certainly more frequent sex for men could be seen as a positive thing for the relationship.” In this age-old dilemma frequently brought before the counselor in numerous couples’ sex therapy sessions, the question of what good sex remains a subjective definition(at least statistically) necessitating further research. Regardless of the definition of what good sex is across gender lines, there does seem to be a positive trend to the data that cannot be ignored.
In other positive news that was garnered by this study, 71% of couples reported being glad that they had a partner with which to push through this last year of pandemic living. Not only that, but 58% stated that said relationships had also improved in satisfaction levels and strength! All in all, the upward direction of these numbers reflects one of the very few positives resulting from the last year. But what will come of it as vaccinations increase the ability to socialize? Tawaab is intrinsically hopeful for the future, saying, “I think the attachment piece will keep people together and they will learn to navigate this new post-pandemic world together, I don’t think there’ll be this massive breakup.” Keeping all of the above in mind, we hope to see higher satisfaction results in the higher years, perhaps with the aid of our lovely sex therapists. Let’s get those numbers, (among other things) up!
Written by Alena Newland