Helpful Books and Podcasts from Respark Therapist, Zanna Haney Stevanovic

By Respark | July 1, 2020

Sexual Education Resources that Influenced me in Becoming a Sex Therapist By: Zanna Haney Stevanovic M.A., LPC-Intern, Supervised by Heather McPherson M.A., LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST

One of the questions I often get asked is why I decided to become a therapist, and even more so why I decided to become a sex therapist in Texas.

How I became a Sex Therapist

There are a variety of reasons, including some experiences from my own life. However, if I had to choose one statement to sum it all up, it would be to help others decrease their sexual shame and accept and embrace the unique person that they are. This is not always an easy task, as it wasn’t one for me either. However, I found that finding a community within the Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) really helped me to begin that work. Through trainings by SHA, I was introduced and influenced by a number of resources that helped me along that journey.

Influential Sex Therapy Books

Some of the books that influenced me at the beginning of my decision to become a sex therapist were:

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski
Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture by Dr. Chris Donaghue
Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It by Marty Klein.

These books were the foundation for me when beginning my education and expansion of understanding of sexual health and sex positivity. Come as You Are is a great resource for women and anyone that is in a relationship with a woman. It’s a great book that helps people understand the process of arousal. A distinct message that I took away from the book was the concept of spontaneous versus reactive arousal. We live in a society that glorifies spontaneous arousal, but not only that, it’s the only version of arousal that is really ever depicted in the media. Therefore, many people, are surprised to hear that there is even a such thing as reactive arousal, and that it’s very normal, especially among women. In addition, another concept that stood out to me while reading Come as You are and Sexual Intelligence was the dual control model, which focuses on the distinction between sexual excitatory and sexual inhibitory processes (aka: accelerators and breaks). Sex Outside the Lines was a book that resonated with me significantly. It’s a book that looked at sex in a way that I had never been introduced to before. It helped decrease the shame that I had experienced regarding my own sexuality and helped me realize that it wasn’t me that was the problem but rather a society that demonizes authentic sexuality. This is a concept that influences me greatly in the work that I do as a sex therapist.

Additional Advanced Sex Therapy Books

As I continued to expand my mindset and educate myself on sexual health and sex positivity, I added a number of additional books to my collection, including:

Modern Sexuality: The Truth About Sex and Relationships by Michael Aaron
Rebel Love: Break the Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits, and Have the Best Sex of Your Life by Dr. Chris Donaghue
The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Elisabeth Sheff
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Frank Veaux and Eve Rickert
The Myth of Sex Addiction by Dr. David Ley
Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity by Nico Tortorella
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve your Sex Life by Justin Lehmiller

There are a number of books in addition to these that I plan to add to my collection in the future, including:

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community by Laura Erickson-Schroth
Opening up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For all of us who live with disabilities, chronic pain, and illness by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette

I know that this is an exhaustive list, however I feel that it’s so important that we continue to educate ourselves as professionals in the field of sexuality/sex therapy.

Anti-racism Books

As for now, I am taking a short break from reading books focused solely on sexuality and will be focusing on reading books on anti-racism. I believe that in order to continue my work effectively as a sex therapist, I must also educate myself on the reality of what is happening in the world and find ways that I can be an ally for the black community. I attended a webinar last week on racial trauma, and it reminded me that by educating myself on this reality for people of color in our country, especially black individuals, I can bring that information into the therapy room to better support my clients. I can only assume that there is an interrelation to the experiences of the black community and their sexuality, and to better educate myself on that topic, I plan to add Race and Sexuality by Salvador Vidal-Oritz, Brandon Andrew Robinson, and Cristina Khan to my reading list.

Influential Podcasts on Sexuality Topics

In addition to books, I have found that podcasts are a new way of learning that I greatly appreciate and enjoy. With that being said, a podcast that influenced me greatly was The Love Bomb by Nico Torterello. It was actually the first podcast that I ever listened to. If you haven’t listened to it, I highly recommend it! Currently, my podcast library includes:

Sex with Emily
Yeah, but Are You Happy
Therapist Uncensored
Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel

I hope that some of these resources have an impact on others, as they have had on me, both personally and as a sex therapist. Happy Reading and Listening!

Next Steps & Resources:

Ready to take the next step?

What online counseling options do I have?

For the past decade we have excelled at online therapy, tele-therapy and phone counseling. We have seen couples online and conducted Sex Therapy online through video platforms. Everything can be completed online including your intake, first session all the way through graduation! You can even find a Respark Therapist or Coach and book your first session online without having to pick up the phone. Many of our clients love online therapy as there are so many pros! Learn more about our online couples therapy, online individual therapy and online Sex Therapy process here.

What is Respark all about?

We have therapists throughout all of Texas and Colorado. We offer the best couples therapy and sex therapy because our team had 200+ hours of training post graduate. Many of them are already certified or about to become certified sex therapists. We have therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, eating disorders and Health at Every Size informed.

I want to become a sex therapist or sexual health professional, how do I do that?
Check out our podcast with Respark Founder, Heather McPherson at Practice Outside the Lines.

I want to become a certified sex therapist or certified sex coach or educator?

We also started one of the largest sexual health training organizations in the country. Check out Sexual Health Alliance for sexuality certification programs.

I need additional support around growing my sexual health focused practice as a sex therapist, sex coach or sexuality professional. Where can I find more information?

We started Practice Outside the Lines to support new and seasoned sexuality professionals learn how to start and grow a sexual health focused business.