TMI to Happy Endings
Our Respark Founder, Heather McPherson LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST was recently interviewed in Bravo. The article was centered on Denis Richards disclosing personal details from happy endings to penis size and cheating. Below are a few questions Heather was asked by Bravo.
How can you have a sexy long distance relationship?
If you are in a relationship where you are having sex every night and one of you has to travel for work, you can make it work with some healthy ways to keep intimacy going while apart. Many couples that travel for business will stay connected and intimate by getting creative. This can include sexting and naughty phone calls. One key ingredient is making sure you have a mutual agreement with how these sexts get saved or shared. For those that want to kick it up a notch, the couple can Skype or FaceTime and get sexy on video. Another option is getting a sex toy that can be controlled remotely.
Are Happy Endings Considered Cheating?
Heather often assesses this issue by framing it within ethical non-monogamy. “It’s within the couple’s rights to decide what they agree to and with whom. However, both parties have to agree to the experience. If a couple has defined what their boundaries are in the relationship and have clearly discussed implications and agreements which states that happy ending massages are ok and acceptable, then this can be a form of ethical non-monogamy. This isn’t necessarily a slippery slope if the couple communicates often and honestly.”
What is TMI?
What is too much information these days? Some want to tell their friends their entire sexual experience from start to finish, where others keep their sex life extremely private from their friends and family. According to Heather, “TMI” is whatever your partner tells you is TMI. This means that you both decide together what is private and what is ok to be shared. This is an ongoing conversation and can be specific to different types of friends/family. What you share with a friend might be different than a sister. It is important to respect your partner and their privacy so having a conversation about what you might share with others is key.
It important to be able to talk about sex with friends as we can easily get bored or even get into trouble more often, if we’re not allowed to share or ask questions. Being in a relationship where it’s ok to talk to your friends can indicate a healthy and in certain circumstances, even more successful relationship.
Sharing too much information with friends by accident
If the worst case scenario happens and you accidentally share too much about your partner with the wrong person and they spread rumors, repair must happen right away. This is an important time to reassess the agreement of what to share with which friends. It can also be an opportunity for questions. If the couple can support each other and stick together, they might come out the other side stronger.
If someone is beginning to share too much information with you and you need to cut the conversation off, Heather advises to communicate clearly, directly and honestly. Examples include “I appreciate you sharing vulnerable details with me, however I don’t feel comfortable going into more detail.” “I’m not sure if your partner would be okay with you sharing so much with me, but I’m honored that you feel this comfortable with me. Thank you for being open, but let’s stick to facts and not go into huge detail unless your partner is a part of the conversation.”
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Read the full article here: https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/personal-space/denise-richards-tmi-aaron-phypers-dick-size-happy-ending-massage?fbclid=IwAR1u9ac8hgR18tbUCxgB72mfDqftClTOtqMyJyPEB3PnuBWnhX4rXDgUybI
Next Steps & Resources:
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What online counseling options do I have?
For the past decade we have excelled at online therapy, tele-therapy and phone counseling. We have seen couples online and conducted Sex Therapy online through video platforms. Everything can be completed online including your intake, first session all the way through graduation! You can even find a Respark Therapist or Coach and book your first session online without having to pick up the phone. Many of our clients love online therapy as there are so many pros! Learn more about our online couples therapy, online individual therapy and online Sex Therapy process here.
What is Respark all about?
We have therapists throughout all of Texas and Colorado. We offer the best couples therapy and sex therapy because our team had 200+ hours of training post graduate. Many of them are already certified or about to become certified sex therapists. We have therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, eating disorders and Health at Every Size informed.
I want to become a sex therapist or sexual health professional, how do I do that?
Check out our podcast with Respark Founder, Heather McPherson at Practice Outside the Lines.
I want to become a certified sex therapist or certified sex coach or educator?
We also started one of the largest sexual health training organizations in the country. Check out Sexual Health Alliance for sexuality certification programs.
I need additional support around growing my sexual health focused practice as a sex therapist, sex coach or sexuality professional. Where can I find more information?
We started Practice Outside the Lines to support new and seasoned sexuality professionals learn how to start and grow a sexual health focused business.