Hot Spots and Not Spots; Mapping Out Your Bodies Pleasure Treasures – Ft. Casandra M. Jones
We spoke with Respark Therapist, Casandra M. Jones MPH, MA, LPC-Associate (she/her) to learn more about what body mapping is and how it evolved into a technique she uses in her practice called the “Treasure Map Exercise”.
Casandra is a wellness focused, trauma-informed counselor who is passionate about helping people in diverse relationships uncover and embrace their true selves and live happier/healthier lives. She focuses on using Neuro-Narrative, emotion-focused theories, with a heavy dash of systems thinking and attachment theory, to help people struggling with sexual trauma, relationship issues, depression, bipolar disorders, schizophrenic spectrum disorders, anxiety, or minority stigma-related stress. She has extensive backgrounds in non-monogamy, kink/BDSM, sex-positive counseling, gay stuff, and living with chronic conditions/disabilities/diseases.
Initiating the process of therapy as a couple can feel awkward, and even anxiety-inducing at first. Your therapist may give you all sorts of assessments and worksheets that seem helpful on the surface but seem hard to apply to your life and relationships.
When I first started working with sex therapy clients I used the traditional body map worksheets. Understanding where my clients had physical trauma, no-go zones, or even their erogenous zones was essential information for me to help them learn how to have more pleasure in their lives. However, I noticed that clients were not often applying this information from these worksheets to themselves. As soon as they drudged through the sheets, they forgot the information they had just painstakingly jotted down.
That’s when I started doing what I call the ‘Treasure Map Exercise’ with almost every client. Now I want to introduce you to this exercise because I truly believe it’s a great way to learn how to touch ourselves and partners in a way that’s way more fun and memorable than a worksheet.
What you will need for this exercise:
- Washable /body-safe colored markers
- Either a partner or a full-body mirror
That’s it! The rest of the exercise relies on your creativity
Start with 2 colors, preferably red and green. If you are alone, mark on your own body the RED zones, meaning you never want them touched/played with. If doing this with a partner, instruct them where they should draw with red on your body. Then use the Green, for the zones you love having touched.
Now you can get creative with the rest of the colors. Mark on your body in whatever color feels appropriate for various sensations. Show where you are ticklish, sensitive, and tense.
If doing this with a partner you can then invite them to mark on your body their favorite parts! Maybe black X’s where they love kissing, sucking, or biting you. Let them turn you into their treasure map! This part of the exercise can be incredibly healing. Looking in the mirror afterward, or even taking pictorial evidence, gives your brain visual evidence that your body is a TREASURE.
You and your partners should embrace a playful and silly energy with this exercise. Some tickles might occur when drawing on sensitive skin, laugh with it. Some discomfort when attention is turned to a no-go zone may occur, breathe into it and honor that body part. I encourage you to make this exercise your own. Because everyone’s definition of pleasure/treasure is different, and learning those variations is a great adventure of discovery.
Want to Learn More About this Exercise?
Did you enjoy this exercise or have more questions about it? Book your first therapy session with Casandra directly online. Ready to start your therapy journey with a different Respark therapist? We have experts in Texas, Colorado, Washington, Utah, and Missouri ready to help you take that first step. Take our quiz to determine who is the best therapist fit for you and either schedule directly online or contact our care team.
