Robyn Flores’s Tips & Tricks For All Things Sex Therapy

By Respark | November 8, 2020

What is the #1 reason that you find that individuals, (or couples) seek out Sex Therapy?

The #1 reason I see individuals and couples seek out Sex Therapy is

not usually the reason they think they are seeking out Sex Therapy! It’s the lack of

congruent, supportive, and reflective communication and non-defensive listening that

are often the root causes as to why partners are struggling with sex, intimacy, and their relationship.

What is the biggest misconception about Sex Therapy that you find yourself working against?

I feel that a big misconception is when the client holds onto the anxiety surrounding the belief that their sexual concern is too much or too embarrassing for the therapist to be able to help, so they don’t reach out for the help they need or deserve. That is the importance of seeking out a therapist with the Sex Therapy specialization! I hold clients’ experiences with profound compassion and understanding; I respect that these are vulnerable and sensitive concerns.

What makes Sex Therapy different from Marriage/Relationship Therapy in

your opinion?

As Sex Therapists, we dive deeper into sexuality-related specific

concerns in a non-judgmental, affirming, and safe space. We support couples and/or

individuals in finding a deeper understanding and creating meaning of their sexuality,

sexual identity, partnering, sexual behavior, dating, sexual well-being, and coping with

stigma and other forms of oppression or marginalization, and so much more.

What 3 skills do you believe a good Sex Therapist must have?

I feel that being open, affirming, and non-judgmental are three skills of a good Sex Therapist. In addition, a good Sex Therapist is there to have the difficult conversations needed for growth and healing.

What questions should a client ask themselves when deciding which therapist is right for them?

I believe clients should ask potential therapists: Do you have an understanding of my perspective as a (gender, ethnicity, culture, etc.)? Do you have experience working with experiences and concerns like mine? What is your approach (directive, non-directive, collaborative, etc.)?

What would you say to future therapists interested in this field?

The best advice I can give to anyone wanting to enter this field is to reach outside of your academic program for specialization coursework that aligns with the rigorous requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Most counseling graduate programs do not require or offer courses on human sexuality.

In what direction do you see the future of Sex Therapy going?

I see it growing as a field and as something that people are seeking out. It’s exciting to witness professionals in this field radically break down shame and stigma around sex and sexuality.

What book would you recommend as required material for anyone seeking

Sex Therapy?

There are so many to choose from and I have a whole library full of

some really great books that address sex! However, off the top of my head, I would

recommend Marty Klein’s Sexual Intelligence. Another one would be Emily Nagoski’s

Come As You Are. These are both books that can get significant conversations started in and out of therapy.

What is the biggest miscommunication between couples that you see in Therapy? Staying present while communicating, exploring patterns, and experiencing

what is going on between partners is vulnerable work. The biggest miscommunication

that causes intimacy to wane is not communicating or sharing each other’s inner worlds or not being authentic in expressing oneself to their partner.

What is the one sentence that you would say to anyone considering Sex Therapy?

You are absolutely worthy and deserving of the care and expertise a

specialized Sex Therapist can provide to support you in creating and experiencing your authentic sexuality.

What is the one recommendation about Sexuality you would give to the

general public?

Know and understand the principles of sexual health: consent,

honesty, shared values, mutual pleasure, non-exploitation, and protection! Parents – provide education for your kids, not fear!

What is your number one Sexual Self-Care tip?

Stay with the moment; stay present, mindful, and enveloped by the senses

during sex or intimate, erotic moments with others, and, especially, with yourself.

Take time to learn your body and what it wants and needs to feel pleasure. Solo tantra meditations can be wonderful practices of self-care.

Next Steps & Resources:

Ready to take the next step?

What online counseling options do I have?

For the past decade we have excelled at online therapy, tele-therapy and phone counseling. We have seen couples online and conducted Sex Therapy online through video platforms. Everything can be completed online including your intake, first session all the way through graduation! You can even find a Respark Therapist or Coach and book your first session online without having to pick up the phone. Many of our clients love online therapy as there are so many pros! Learn more about our online couples therapy, online individual therapy and online Sex Therapy process here.

What is Respark all about?

We have therapists throughout all of Texas and Colorado. We offer the best couples therapy and sex therapy because our team had 200+ hours of training post graduate. Many of them are already certified or about to become certified sex therapists. We have therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, eating disorders and Health at Every Size informed.

I want to become a sex therapist or sexual health professional, how do I do that?
Check out our podcast with Respark Founder, Heather McPherson at Practice Outside the Lines.

I want to become a certified sex therapist or certified sex coach or educator?

We also started one of the largest sexual health training organizations in the country. Check out Sexual Health Alliance for sexuality certification programs.

I need additional support around growing my sexual health focused practice as a sex therapist, sex coach or sexuality professional. Where can I find more information?

We started Practice Outside the Lines to support new and seasoned sexuality professionals learn how to start and grow a sexual health focused business.