Sex Therapy for Individuals
Sex therapy usually manifests in our heads as an amalgamation of couple’s counseling and traditional, regimented therapy, but sex therapy for individuals is more popular than ever. To many of us, sex therapy is a space where two (or more) people can meet, sort through some of their collective issues, and attempt to repair (or at the very least acknowledge productively) any damage that may have occurred. Sex therapy for couples is about setting goals around intimacy, sex, and connection. Sex therapy is a space, an excuse, to rediscover love.
But what if you’re not in a relationship? Let me get this out of the way: Therapy, no matter what kind, is for anyone and everyone. More specifically, sex therapy can be for individuals. It is also for anyone and everyone, not just couples. There are many reasons individuals seek out sex therapists. Here are some of them:
1. The Basics and Orgasming: Sex Therapy for Individuals 101
It goes without saying that our country is lacking in sexual education. Though they’ve been proven ineffective, the abstinence-only curriculum is still perpetuated throughout the US. Because of this, many young adults may find themselves with misinformation regarding their own bodies. A sex therapist can provide resources for further education, as well as help dispel the current and dangerous myths about the female anatomy. In a Bustle article, sex therapist Vanessa Martin shares that problems with orgasming are the number one reason women seek out her help.
2. Performance Anxiety
The number one men seek out Martin’s help, she claims, is because of performance anxiety, to which she means the varying degrees of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Of course, performance anxiety is not limited to men. Many women too worry if they’re “good enough” in bed. Good sex therapy for individuals can help you uncover your confidence and manage anxiety.
3. Experience Sexual Pain
Sexual pain is not discussed enough. An overwhelming number of women report experiencing pain during sex. A sex therapist can help guide you to the root of the problem and offer suggestions for improvement. Pain does come in varying forms and while adding more lube can solve some problems, it won’t solve every. So, as your therapist would probably recommend, please also speak with your doctor and/or gynecologist if you’re experiencing pain during sex.
4. Sex Therapy for Individuals: Help with Questioning Sexual Identity
Speaking with a sex therapist can help you explore or better understand your own sexuality. Please be aware of the (too many) sex therapists who perform varying techniques of “conversion therapy” which is not only factually incorrect but also a dangerous and seriously ineffective way of discussing and approaching one’s sexuality. You have better options.
5. Don’t Know What You Want
Struggling with your sexual desires is yet another normal occurrence, turned into a bigger deal by society, that your sex therapist can help you unpack. Some people are concerned or ashamed of their desires, to which your therapist can provide exercises to reduce shame or recommend further treatment based on your needs.
6. Process Your Past: Sex Therapy for Individuals is the Perfect Opportunity
We carry trauma in our bodies, generally around the hips and sexual organs. Because of this, past experiences can physically affect the body through pain or mental/emotional blockages. Speaking with a therapist is beneficial to anyone with trauma, but a sex therapist specifically will handle any past sexual trauma with the utmost care and discretion plus empathy.
7. Make Sex Fun — for you!
When you go to sex therapy single, you have the advantage of working only what you can: Yourself. You’re not there to understand how to please your significant other or why you’re no longer attracted to your significant other. Of course, couple’s sex therapy does involve individual sessions, but the goal is still two-fold whereas sex therapy for individuals allows for freedom in all and any topic. How can you make sex more fun for you?
Regardless of being single or in a relationship, seeing a sex therapist can be beneficial for all. We live in a world of misinformation. We live in a world with a rigid moral code that, well into the 21st century, continues to isolate and exclude sexual minorities, all while spreading myths and lies about the body. It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and confused by your sexuality even before you begin a relationship.
In the great words of revolutionary sexologist, Emily Nagoski, we’re all made of the same parts, just organized in different ways. No two are alike. Your sex therapist will help you figure out how you are organized.