Respark’s Guide to Scheduling Sex
Scheduling sex sounds like something that might make sense to those of us who live overwhelming, busy lives with our calendars constantly booked. For others, though, scheduling sex may not sound that appealing, as it takes the spontaneity out of intimacy. While spontaneity is essential, it’s not always realistic in day-to-day life. Most of us do lead busy lives, though, and it’s often difficult to keep romanticism up in our sex lives, especially in long-term relationships. If your calendar is already overbooked, you might want to consider adding sex with your partner(s) to the roster, there’s a multitude of benefits it can have in your relationship. Thanks to a great article from Insider, below I detail some benefits of scheduling sex that will give you and your partner(s) insight on when it may be time to try the practice for your relationship!
Some Reasons to Schedule Sex
- Scheduling sex demonstrates a commitment to your relationship
- Scheduling sex shows that it’s a priority for you in your busy life. This shows your partner(s) that you want to keep up intimacy with them no matter what other things are going on in your life. Making your partner a priority is sexy; it makes them feel wanted and desired. This can amp things up in the bedroom even more than spontaneous passion!
- Improves your overall communication
- As you work on your communication as it relates to scheduling sex, this will carry over to other aspects of your relationship. You’ll be working a muscle in your partnership that may not have been as active before. This heightened sense of communication may even enhance your sex life as you may be more comfortable divulging particular fantasies or desires with your partner in the bedroom.
- Guarantees Quality Time
- As our lives get busier the frequency in which we have sex typically tends to decrease. More than just sex though, events such as date nights tend to decrease as well, as the reality of day-to-day life takes over. If you find yourself in a relationship with dwindling quality time, scheduling sex can be a great way to remedy this situation. Once you mark the event on the calendar you know in the back of your mind that you will have that one on one focus time with your partner that you’ve been craving.
Overall, there is never a bad time to start scheduling sex in your relationship. Not only does it guarantee time with your partner(s) but it has the potential to enhance communication and show your partner(s) that you are committed to them. Keep on reading if you want some advice on how to actually schedule sex in your life! Scheduling sex is not something that’s difficult to incorporate into one’s daily life. It’s all about being realistic and ensuring that the needs of both you and your partner(s) are being both considered and met.
Tips for Scheduling Sex
- Set a goal for how often you want to have sex
- Research shows that most couples have sex about once a week. However, this number varies by age. Couples in their twenties have sex 80 times a year on average, while couples in their sixties have sex about 20 times a year. This research is just simple statistics though, and may not actually reflect life in actuality. Sit down with your partner(s) and discuss what a realistic sex goal looks like for you. Set a goal for the number of times you would like to have sex per week.
- Be realistic
- Realism is arguably the most important step of this whole process. It’s important to remember that nobody ever has the perfect schedule, and things do often get missed or pushed aside. This is why it’s essential to prioritize scheduling sex and understand that sometimes even life will get in the way of your scheduled sex sessions. Unfortunately, that’s just reality! One way to prevent setbacks is to start small when planning your sex goals. If you and your partner(s) have been struggling even to have sex once a month, then maybe it’s not best to schedule sex once a week right off the bat. Instead, try scheduling sex for perhaps the first Saturday of every month.
- Use an actual calendar.
- You should mark downtime for sex on an actual calendar, whether it’s physical or digital, instead of just keeping mental notes. Schedule at least a week in advance. This will increase your likelihood of keeping your commitment, and it will give you something fun to look forward to whenever you peek at your calendar. Be sure to take the schedules of both you and your partner(s) into account when scheduling sex. Think about the times you each have work, class, or any other prior commitments. You want to make sure that both of you are able to relax into enjoy the moment without having to worry about any other prior obligations.
By Alyssa Morterud