The Joys of Mutual Masturbation for Couples

Nobody knows your body better than you! Masturbation is a great way to explore your desires and get to know what your body likes and needs. Most of us are comfortable masturbating in the confines of our own personal space- for me I love masturbating in my bed deep under the covers. There’s nothing like spending precious alone time masturbating. There may be one thing that’s even better than masturbating alone though- rubbing one out while your partner pleases themselves beside you. Oh, the joys of mutual masturbation! It’s thought that “engaging in a little mutual masturbation can up your sexual intimacy… bringing couples closer together.” ( bustle ) Sexual health expert Tara Skubella notes that “Self-pleasuring with a partner, whether in person or virtually, can be one of the most intimate and sexual experiences we can share with a person.” ( bustle ) It’s important to note that mutual masturbation can look different for everyone, you may find yourself wanting to include sex toys or you may want to just use your hands. No matter how you get the job done, the experience can be that much more pleasurable when shared with a partner or maybe even two! Below you will find Bustle’s 5/10  reasons as to why you should try mutual masturbation, with some of my own notes of course. 

5 Reasons to try mutual masturbation

1. It’s a good way to show what you like. Masturbation is a great learning opportunity for both you and your partner(s). It’s an easy way to be present and focus on the here and now because there’s no pressure to have intercourse. Instead, you and your partner can focus on your own bodies and show each other how you like to be touched. 
2. It can help you become more comfortable talking about sex. “Learning how your partner likes to be touched and teaching them what turns you on is just one benefit of mutual masturbation — talking about how good what you’re doing feels at the moment can help you feel more comfortable talking about your body, in and out of the bedroom.” ( bustle ) Sex and relationship coach Nicole Buratti sees mutual masturbation as a form of sexual communication, as it’s a universal language. By showing your partner how you touch yourself, you’re comfortable communicating what you like in bed.
3. It’s a great way to have sex when you’re too tired to have sex. “When you’re horny or want to feel close to your partner, but don’t feel like you have the energy to start engaging in penetrative sex, oral sex, or manual stimulation, masturbating together — while you kiss, touch, or do whatever else you feel moved to do at the moment — can often scratch the itch.”  ( bustle ) It’s an easy way to guarantee an orgasm if you want one because no one knows your own body better than you. Moreover, you don’t have to worry about pleasing your partner because they will be pleasing themselves! 
4. It’s your own private show. According to sexologist Dr. Jill McDevitt, “As humans, we are inclined to be aroused by seeing and hearing other people have sex, hence porn. Watching your partner have sex with themselves is tapping into that.” ( bustle ) In this sense, mutual masturbation is like your own private sex show with your partner! The image of your partner masturbating is only for you when you’re alone. 
5. It’s worth a try if you have trouble finishing with a partner. Christopher Ryan Jones, PsyD, clinical sex therapist, tells Bustle that he sometimes recommends clients who have arousal or orgasm issues try mutual masturbation. Jones notes that “During intercourse, it’s easy to get distracted by your own pleasure and performance. During mutual masturbation, you can switch your focus.” ( bustle ) You don’t need to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself during mutual masturbation. Moreover, you can show your partner what you like and maybe they will feel more equipped to bring you to orgasm during intercourse. 

By: Alyssa Morterud