Why Sex Therapy is for Everyone

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy in a broad sense refers to specialized skills and specific treatment approaches to sexuality issues, problems, and relationship issues. These can involve questions about sexual orientation/identity, or gender identity, or sexual/relationship preferences including monogamous, polyamorous, and open relationships. In general, a sex therapist helps you clarify, set goals and resolve sexual questions or difficulties which affect you and/or your relationship. Sometimes physical difficulties prevent or diminish sexual pleasure while other times it can be sexual communication and intimacy that is the root of the problem. Properly trained sex therapists have not only taken additional classes on sexuality and received supervised training in sex therapy but should have also explored their sexual attitudes, biases, and beliefs. A sex therapist should be someone non-judgmental, unconditionally accepting, and open to any kind of client. They should also be equipped to handle many different cultural influences a client has when receiving sex therapy. Several professional associations train sex therapists. AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists is the largest and most credible licensing training. Programs like Sexual Health Alliance help streamline this training and hours.

What does Sex Therapy treat?

Anything sex-related is appropriate for sex therapy, including sexual communication, negotiation, exploring kinks, etc. Topics sex therapists will treat include managing jealousy, lack of desire or boredom with routine, communication issues, trying new things, guiding the negotiation process, and various other situations. Sexual changes through one’s life’s stages, including the effects of pregnancy and parenting, questions in mid-life, menopause and aging, and sexual activity following illness, surgery, or disability that affect the persons’ sex life and can be addressed in sex therapy. Sex therapy is for everyone, it is also a great option for those who have experienced sexual trauma or are recovering from sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation as a child, and other coercive sexual experiences. Trained sex therapy professionals can help you process, heal, and ultimately guide you to a place where sex is no longer a concern or issue.

Is Sex Therapy for you?

Sex therapy is for everyone: couples, partners, families, and individuals. People of all ages, all cultures, and all demographics are seen in therapy. Cultural taboos, stigmas, shyness, embarrassment, or shame about sex affect the way people view and judge their own sex life. Sexuality counseling and/or sex therapy may be especially appropriate for those involved in polyamory or kink. For couples and partners who are interested in spicing up their sex life, therapy can be a way to acquire appropriate information and explore new behaviors in a safe environment.

Do I have to be in a relationship to benefit from sex therapy?

The short answer is “No.” There is much that can be learned, taught, explored, and/or practiced on your own, with appropriate guidance.

Can sex therapy help if I and/or my partner was sexually abused?

Yes, sex therapy is for everyone, it can be especially beneficial in partnership with trauma-informed psychotherapy. Contrary to popular belief, it is not possible to “resolve all trauma” or even “get fixed” while engaging in sex therapy because it is a nonlinear process that should not be judged for setbacks. The goal should be moving towards improved sexual functioning and/or sexual recovery (whatever that means for you and your situation). .Engaging in sex therapy along with trauma central therapy is a great way to learn even more skills from both therapists. When properly engaged in, sex therapy and trauma therapy combined can overlap and help the client from multiple angles.

I don’t have a problem, I just want a better sex life. Can sex therapy help?

Absolutely! Many people seek sexuality counseling or sex therapy because they want to get to that “next level” of sex. For some people, that may entail learning to become better lovers, or more comfortable with sexual behaviors that their partner(s) would like. It is even possible for some to become multi-orgasmic! For some people, a “better sex life” might also entail becoming more comfortable with sexual behaviors that their partner(s) like or want to try. Or even simply wanting to experience more and better orgasms! Maybe you want to experiment and expand/explore your sexual boundaries, that’s cool too! Sex therapy from a certified and sex-positive therapist can be very useful in all of these situations. Even expanding your definition of sex and leaning towards the more “mundane” sides of sex can be just as thrilling!

Are there any sexual issues or concerns that a sex therapist will not work with?

Yes. Ethically, any form of child sexual abuse or exploitation must be reported to law enforcement. Otherwise, no shame or judgment should come from your sex therapist.

Sex and Anxiety: How They’re Connected

Arousal non-concordance. We’ve all experienced this one time or another. This happens when the body is aroused when the mind isn’t, or vice versa; this happens for both men and women who suffer from anxiety. Research shows that anxiety is one of the biggest contributing factors of erectile dysfunction (or ED) in males. Not ‘performing’ makes them even more anxious, which then perpetuates the erectile dysfunction and more anxiety for the next time. It’s not an erectile disorder, but anxiety blocking your sexual libido. Women who struggle with anxiety can also experience sexual dysfunction due to their anxiety; they may have trouble getting aroused or achieving orgasm. From a physiological standpoint, anxiety can override sexual focus in anxious women.

Sex & Depression: How They’re Connected

Major depressive disorder (MDD) can cause an array of different sexual issues, including impotence, erectile dysfunction, and loss of desire in both men and women. Unfortunately, sometimes when one is on an antidepressant, it can worsen sexual dysfunction, as most women may experience no interest in sexual activities or problems with orgasm. If you’re currently on medication for MDD, keep in mind that the SSRIs you are on might seriously affect your libido (ask your psychiatrist or general doctor about this). Depression typically puts a damper on your desire to have sex whether or not you’re in a relationship. People living with depression while also trying to find other people to be intimate with may feel less interested in putting themselves out there to make social connections and create opportunities for love and intimacy, which ultimately perpetuates their depression. Research shows that women due to symptoms of depression, feelings of insecurity about their bodies, feeling less desirable, and doubtful about their sexual confidence may arise more frequently. Women who are experiencing depression may also experience low libido, low arousal, or have unwanted sexual pain. These issues are all issues that can be addressed in sex therapy.

Looking for a certified sex therapist in Colorado or Texas? Respark has you covered, contact us today to schedule an appointment.