Get To Know Respark Clinical Manager, Taylor Spaziani

By Respark | October 27, 2020

My name is Taylor Spaziani and I am the intake coordinator and clinical manager here at Respark! I am currently a graduate student working on my degree in couples and family therapy at the University of Colorado Denver and am beginning to work on my sex therapy ceritifcation. I have wanted to be a sex therapist since I was in the 5th grade, and I have been learning about all things sexuality since. One of my favorite sayings I live by is, “embrace your weirdness,” because I believe the unique qualities we hold as individuals is what brings the world magic. I think society has a terrible way of making us feel like we all need to look and act like one another, to mask ourselves into the roles that society wants to see us as. This is why I love studying sexuality as a profession, because sexuality reminds me of just how unique we all are. I believe in the power of helping others embrace their unique selves, especially their unique sexualities. It truly brings me so much joy and I continue to thrive in my life long educational journey and constant hunger for learning more and doing better for the greater good of my community.

Getting to Know you Questions:

My name is Taylor Rose Spaziani and I have wanted to be a sex therapist since I was in the 5th grade. Ever since I discovered the profession, I’ve been continually following my dream. I have made my way to graduate school, and am currently working on my master’s degree in couples and family therapy at the University of Colorado Denver. I am beginning to work on my sex therapy certication with the Sexual Health Alliance, and I could not be more excited about it! I came to specialize in sexuality related issues because sexuality reminds me of the diverse and unique qualities that we hold as individuals. I live by the phrase, “embrace your weirdness,” and my calling in life is to help people embrace theirs.

Theories I’m curious about

Theories that I am beginning to draw on are narrative theory, humanistic, and attachment theory. Although I am still a student, so I am trying to keep my mind open when using theories and figuring out which one works best for me and my style of therapy. I believe in the power of human connection and sitting with people in the here and now, while also paying necessary attention to whatever is haunting someone from their past. I hope to become a well-rounded clinician, pulling from many different theories to fit the best needs of the client. I believe that not one theory will fit every single client I see, therefore I want to be well versed in many theories so I can accurately apply them.

In the first session with a client, I hope to build a strong relationship between the two of us. The relationship between the client and the counselor is so vital to finding a successful therapeutic relationship, and I hope to show clients that I can walk with them side by side in their journey. I can use this as well in my role as the intake coordinator and clinical manager, as I speak with clients before they find their best fit therapist. I aim to show clients my most authentic, warm self when meeting them for the first time and continuing my relationship with them.

How to Respark a relationship

In my opinion, two ways that people can “Respark” their love life or their sex life would be first and foremost to introduce novelty into their lives. Novelty is such a key component into remaining interested in finding love for themselves and for their partners. Not only this, but I also believe that you can continue to “respark” your love life and sex life by COMMUNICATING! It seems so cliche, however, communication can be such a vulnerable and raw experience. When you start to communicate effectively, it’s amazing what kind of changes begin to SPARK!

People can maintain this passion in not only their love lives, but also their personal and professional lives as well. I believe that understanding where the root of your passion lies and really tapping into that passion will continue to keep that spark ongoing. Remember your “why” and hopefully the passion will continue to flow.

Bucket list items

My top three bucket list items would have to be:

Travel the United States in a decked-out van
Live in Hawaii or Abroad (or better yet, BOTH!)
Visit all the national parks and all of the destinations on my travel list.
*additional* FINDING ALL OF THE INTIMATE AND AUTHENTIC HUMAN CONNECTIONS!
Swim the Great Barrier Reef

Sexual Role Models

My sexual role models would have to be Dr. Chris Donaghue and Dani Daniels. Dr. Chris Donaghue is a sex therapist who works closely with us at the Sexual Health Alliance. I admire him because of his authenticity in his role as a clinician and his personal life. He is such a valuable clinician in our field, and I admire him so much for always saying it how it is. I aspire to be a clinician like Dr. Chris. I also admire Dani Daniels, an ex-porn performer. Dani Daniels displays a strong sense of herself and her identity and her role as an adult performer. Dani has always been one of the only performers to stick up for herself and her needs. Anything she wasn’t comfortable doing? She wouldn’t do it! She paved a way for other performers in the industry to be able to do the same. Not only that, but she’s a very savvy business woman as well! Her and her husband celebrate every 23rd day of the month, as their anniversary falls on the 23rd. Dani says that this is a way for them to slow down once a month and continue to “date”. Some nights she plans, some nights her husband plan and I hope to do this with my partner!

Books I love

Two books that have influenced me would have to be both “Rebel Love” & “Sex Outside the Lines” by Dr. Chris Donaghue, “The Gift of Therapy” by Irvin Yalom, Transgender History by Susan Stryker, and a book that our clinician Vielca recommended to me “Sex Rules!”I could go on and on about a list of books that have influenced me. All of these books I included remind me of such powerful things. Dr. Chris’s books remind me of how to live my sexual life to be true to my most authentic sexual self. The Gift Of Therapy reminds me that it’s okay to be my authentic self in my role as a therapy. Transgender History influenced me because of all the knowledge I gathered from it that we didn’t learn in school. I was shocked about the lack of transgender history knowledge I had before reading this book. Lastly, Sex Rules! Is such a fun book about all different kinds of sexualities all over the world and normalizes so many different sexual norms and practices that might be different from ours here in the United States.

Favorite Podcasts

My favorite podcasts right now are Loveline with Dr. Chris Donaghue, and Unfiltered with Holly Randall. Loveline with Dr. Chris happens daily, so to me it feels like a wonderful, sex-positive way to keep up with the daily news and happenings while also feeling like im getting educated on topics and guest speakers that I have never heard of before. Unfiltered is hosted by a porn producer, Holly Randall, who brings on guests mainly from the porn industry but also in the professional field of sexuality therapists and educators. It is so eye-opening to hear everyone’s different journeys and stories, and her podcasts normalizes sex work which is something I stand strongly for.

Dream Vacation

My next dream vacation would have to be the number 1 destination on my travel list right now; Japan! I want to travel to Japan during the season of the blossoming cherry blossoms. It is a tradition in Japan, to sit under the blossoming cherry trees with your family, friends and close loved ones while you picnic together and enjoy all of Earth’s beauty. SUCH a dream of mine!

Important Things

Two of the most important things I do every day is get outside with my two cats, water my plants, my fish tank and clean the space around me, and do something to exercise my physical heart and my mental heart.

Favorite Story to Tell

My favorite story to tell would have to be a time where I knew I wanted to be a therapist. When I was in the 4th grade, I was on a family vacation with my mom, dad, and grandma. I remember that they couldn’t stop fighting and I was so annoyed! As a 4th grader, it was really hard to get through to them, so I decided to go in the other room, log on to the guest computer, and send them an email. I told them that in order to find happiness, we need to all stop fighting and just talk things out. This is when I knew my calling.

Advice for aspiring couples and sex therapists

My advice for someone wanting to become a couples and sex therapist is to immerse yourself in the communities around you that are doing the essential work. Make sure you get the training, and learn all that you can while you can! Listen to podcasts, read books, join a certification program, attend seminars and workshops, and connect with people who are like minded! Collaborating is huge when it comes to your success as becoming a sex therapist, and having the support of your community is everything!

Next Steps & Resources:

Ready to take the next step?

What online counseling options do I have?

For the past decade we have excelled at online therapy, tele-therapy and phone counseling. We have seen couples online and conducted Sex Therapy online through video platforms. Everything can be completed online including your intake, first session all the way through graduation! You can even find a Respark Therapist or Coach and book your first session online without having to pick up the phone. Many of our clients love online therapy as there are so many pros! Learn more about our online couples therapy, online individual therapy and online Sex Therapy process here.

What is Respark all about?

We have therapists throughout all of Texas and Colorado. We offer the best couples therapy and sex therapy because our team had 200+ hours of training post graduate. Many of them are already certified or about to become certified sex therapists. We have therapists trained in trauma, EMDR, eating disorders and Health at Every Size informed.

I want to become a sex therapist or sexual health professional, how do I do that?
Check out our podcast with Respark Founder, Heather McPherson at Practice Outside the Lines.

I want to become a certified sex therapist or certified sex coach or educator?

We also started one of the largest sexual health training organizations in the country. Check out Sexual Health Alliance for sexuality certification programs.

I need additional support around growing my sexual health focused practice as a sex therapist, sex coach or sexuality professional. Where can I find more information?

We started Practice Outside the Lines to support new and seasoned sexuality professionals learn how to start and grow a sexual health focused business.