BDSM Therapy
From ReSpark
An Introduction to BDSM Therapy
This might be the first time you have ever heard of BDSM Therapy. Maybe you have heard of BDSM and you’ve heard of therapy, but what does it mean when you put the two together? In this introduction to BDSM Therapy, we will walk you through the meaning of BDSM. Hold on to your handcuffs, there’s a lot to learn!
What is BDSM? Defining and spelling out the BDSM acronym
Before learning more about BDSM Therapy, let’s take a look at the term “BDSM” and what it means. In an article by Big Think about BDSM Submissive Therapy Benefits, the author defines the term BDSM for readers.
“BDSM is an acronym encompassing a variety of sexual practices that include: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. The practice of BDSM usually consists of partners taking on specific roles in which one partner is dominant and the other is submissive. BDSM practitioners (individuals who frequently engage in BDSM play) can experience various mental health benefits from engaging in their scenes.” (BigThink.com)
These words can appear pretty intense, so before going further we will define each one of these terms. Kynk 101 has a great online kink dictionary where these terms are listed. There are many more on their website if you want to learn more kink and BDSM terms.
Bondage: the act of restraining someone through rope or similar means
Discipline: activities in which a code of conduct is enforced, there may be punishments, can refer to the training of skills or behaviors
Dominance: a role in which one person accepts the power and control in a power exchange dynamic
Submission: giving up power and control in a power exchange dynamic
Sadism: sexual pleasure from inflicting pain, either physical or emotional
Masochism: deriving sexual pleasure from being subjected to pain, physical or emotional
What are some examples of BDSM? How does it work?
There is a lot to learn when it comes to kink and BDSM. There are many different ways in which people participate in BDSM play, and people can take on different roles while they participate in BDSM activities.
“People who engage in BDSM may take part in “scenes” when they “play” together. Those who practice BDSM may identify as dominants, tops, masters, mistresses, or sadists. Those who are in more passive roles may identify as submissives, subs, bottoms, masochists, boys and girls, or slaves. Some people switch roles during play and are called switches.” (Introduction to BDSM for Therapists)
For example, a dominant might use bondage to restrain a submissive during a scene. Both parties derive pleasure from the scene because the dominant enjoys doing the bondage while the submissive enjoys being the one who is bound.
It’s experiences like these that have paved the way for BDSM Therapy. People have experienced emotional healing and positive feelings from their participation in BDSM.
What is a BDSM-Friendly therapist?
Not all therapists are knowledgeable about BDSM or kink lifestyles. Some therapists have damaging or outdated stereotypes of what it means to engage in BDSM or kink activities.
As our world is starting to expand the definition of “normative” sexual behavior, so is the service of individual or couples therapy with clients engaging in BDSM. BDSM has been credited with helping clients cope with sexual trauma or shame by re-visiting triggering situations in a safe, consensual setting.
When a therapist isn’t knowledgeable about kink, it can harm the client. A kinky client can have a more positive therapeutic relationship with their therapist when they are knowledgeable about kink and BDSM.
A kink-aware therapist, or a BDSM-friendly therapist, is a professional with expertise in kink, fetish, and BDSM dynamics. They understand these as healthy, consensual aspects of relationships and offer nonjudgmental support tailored to the needs of individuals and couples within these communities.
A BDSM-aware therapist or a Sexual Health alliance Kink Informed Therapist has specialized and advanced knowledge of diverse expressions of sexuality and identity, fostering a safe, accepting environment. This expertise allows individuals to discuss concerns without needing to explain terms or fear judgment. Therapy with such a professional isn’t limited to kink-related topics but creates space for holistic support and understanding.
Many ReSpark therapists are certified or actively pursuing kink-informed training through the Sexual Health Alliance, ensuring up-to-date knowledge and compassionate care for clients exploring or navigating kink, fetish, or BDSM within their lives or relationships.
What’s the difference between BDSM Therapy and having a BDSM-Friendly Therapist?
It’s important to know the difference between going to a BDSM-Friendly Therapist and participating in BDSM Therapy. While the first one is a quality of your therapist, the second is an actual type of therapy.
Finding a therapist who is BDSM-Friendly means that the therapist will have pre-existing knowledge of BDSM practices and experience working with clients who identify as kinky or practice BDSM. The therapy modality is traditional talk therapy, with extended knowledge of BDSM and kink.