Motherhood Series: Childfree by Choice
When discussing parenting and all that follows this giant decision, it is easy to forget about the conscious decision to not have children. Although for long periods throughout history this was less of a choice due to individual positionality, capital production, and associated stigma, the number of people now choosing to be childfree has increased in the Western world over the past few decades. Central to this conversation is the power dynamics between developed and developing nations, as the latter areas have a far more difficult time gaining access to this choice in any kind of sustainable way. Within the United States, though, there has been a gradual shift away from the term “childless” to “childfree by choice,” essentially returning the autonomy to individuals deciding not to parent. This represents a furthered independence for people, specifically women, in order to actively choose not to participate in a highly feminized construction of family duty. Even though there is more independence being established, there is still much stigmatization these individuals must overcome in order to stand firmly in their choice.
Stigmatization comes in two typical forms: medical and societal. In many ways, these forms build on and play off each other, as medical professionals are both affected by and affect the societal discourse regarding the validity of this choice. Internal biases in medical professionals affect their willingness to allow certain medical procedures on their patients. For those desiring to live childfree by choice, patients approaching their doctors about the possibility of voluntary sterilization face stigma which can shape their viewpoints and potentially derail their plans to forego parenthood. Patients often report their doctors mentioning their age and implying they may have regrets later in life, when receiving initial counseling about this medical option, making this less of an option, and more of a fight between professionals and patients. This has everything to do with internal biases, though, and nothing to do with legitimate medical outcomes because studies show that the adjustment level to life post-sterilization is comparable to the adjustment level to life after becoming a first-time mother. In this way, both patients are “ready” to make their choice, and neither side experience worse conditions down the road as a result of their choice. Thus, the medical stigma perpetuating this fearmongering is not based on data and is instead rooted in outdated, societal opinion.
Childfree Men vs Childfree Women
We can prove this through analysis of vignette studies comparing societal attitudes towards fictional parents and fictional childfree by choice individuals. In one analysis, childfree men were rated less favorable than childfree women. This is interesting, as the most stigma has implications surrounding sexism, but this does not seem to be the case in the childfree by choice debate. Possible reasoning for this is the fact that men are able to have more children over the course of their lifetime, making their decision seem more permanent and life-altering than a woman’s. Moreover, another explanation points to the idea of nuclear families traditionally passing on the lineage of the father. Therefore, when a man chooses to live childfree, he is essentially ending his family line, an antiquated consequence society seems to still grapple with. Regardless of gender, though, typical stigmatization tactics include viewing childfree by choice people as “less American,” “less happy,” “less well-adjusted,” “less likly to get along with their parents,” and “less likely to be satisfied at the age of 65.”
Racial Intersections with Motherhood
Another societal study takes this further to implicate racial and ethnic stereotypes in the perceived attitudes of university-aged females. By using this sampling pool, researchers attempt to determine how young women feel about others (and, indirectly, themselves) being childfree by choice. It was found that these women viewed other women who were childfree by choice negatively, pointing to the idea that this patriarchal stigma deeply affects all societal participants. Furthermore, when race and ethnicity were involved in vignette analysis, university-aged women tended to view Black mothers more favorably than they did Black women who were childfree by choice. In this way, stereotypes are perpetuated related to an individual’s intersectional positionality, making this a much broader issue than that of only gendered ideals. By associating the decision to have children with an individual’s societal value, many are excluded from the benefits of societal acceptance, especially people of color.
However, when comparing these narrative-driven studies to the actual accessible data, there seem to be no tangible, negative differences between those who decide to have children, and those who do not. The active decision to parent or not to parent still filters through the same thought processes; it just employs differing values. Demonstrating this, both mothers and childfree by choice women are shown to have no difference in life satisfaction and overall well-being, as measured by the Personal Wellbeing Index- Adult and the Differentiation of Self-Inventory – Revised. In taking this further, childfree couples actually have higher levels of cohesion and satisfaction in their relationship than couples with children, suggesting that making this decision collaboratively with a partner strengthens the outcome of one’s relationship.
We can apply these statistics to political assertions and societal structures for the betterment of society as a whole. By focusing on the “choice” rhetoric, we can align these goals with reproductive justice, while still considering and holding respect for individuals who are childfree not by choice. In order to go further with these theories, the research must first consider and increase the participation of lesbian women and gay men. This adds to the idea of separating the understandings of feminine identity and motherhood. Finally, as it relates to medical professionals, doctors must believe and counsel individuals desiring to undergo voluntary sterilization, regardless of their relationship status or any other external factor. Because all of these ideas are co-created under the current patriarchal, capitalist systems, making change requires questioning and connecting all of these sub-issues. While this is challenging and time-consuming, as it serves the public good, politicians and citizens alike should be united in the fight against stigma.
By Emily Carriere